adopted by sebastian stan

Part 25

tw: talks of abandonment and a bit of angst. 

Sebastian's pov:

"we need to talk." I said to Y/n as i entered her room. I didn't mean it to sound so serious but i could tell by the look on her face that she was nervous. "o-ok yeah sure." She said and move to the edge of her bed so it left me room to sit and indicated that i could sit. I took a deep breath and moved towards the bed. I sat down and smelt something off but couldn't put my finger on it. "Y/n-"  I started but got cut off by Y/n, "Look i didn't mean for it to come out, it just slipped out. I get that you're not ready for the father responsibility and that me calling you 'dad' was overwhelming for you so you don't need to feel pressured to have that responsibility." She finished by exhaling what looked like she was holding in a lot. She spoke fast, i'm surprised i even caught any of that. Her left leg was bouncing up and down the whole time, as a sense of anxiety and nervousness. 

I just want to take that all away from her, but i want her to let me do that. "Y/n, i'm glad you called me 'dad', it may have just slipped out but it's something. And the reason i adopted you was so i could be a dad, and you calling me that does make me overwhelmed at all, it makes me feel happy that you're starting to trust me." I finish and hear a sniff beside me. I look and see that she had started crying. "y/n-" "i'm fine." She said while wiping that tear away but it did nothing because more came down. "oh hun, come here." I said and brought her in for a side hug and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She put her head on my shoulder and leaned on it. i felt her tears soaking my t-shirt but that it the least of my worries. "i'm sorry." She whispered. "for what, you did nothing wrong." She sniffed and said, "i had a cigarette again. i didn't.....i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i might have scared you by calling you 'dad' and that you would hate me."'so that's what the smell was.'  "why would i hate you?" i was so confused as to why she would think i would hate her for calling me dad. She hesitated before saying, "cuz my last foster parents did." 

Y/n's pov:

"cuz my last foster parents did." I could feel him tense under me as i was leaning on his shoulder. My heart was beating so fast that i could hardly hear anything else except my blood pumping in my ears. "what do you mean by that?" I knew this question was to come up. It was evident. But still, i don't know what to say.  I took a deep breath, and said "um....i-i had said 'mum' and 'dad' too early or i don't know, too early for them i guess, but how was i supposed to know? Then after i had said that they became distant and around a week or so later they um..." I stopped for a bit and Sebastian said, "you don't have to continue if it's too hard for you."

It sounded sincere, like he actually meant it. I'm not used to that, the feeling of being wanted or safe. But i do feel it with him. Right now i feel at peace than i have in a long time. So i take a deep breath 'like the thousandth one in the last minute, like jeez how my many deep breaths do i have to take?'  "no its fine i will carry on, It's better.... so after that week they gave me back. said that when i said that, it freaked them out not wanting to feel pressured to have that responsibility. I was so confused and hurt. it' like if you felt pressured, then why adopt me in the first place?" I laugh but it was shallow. "Later on i always thought they did it for the money, and that they didn't want me to be close to them so they sent me back." Call me cruel but I don't think i was wrong about that, because i saw them about a year after they gave me back and they had a better car and a lot of expensive stuff. It was quiet for a few minutes before Sebastian said, "you think i would do that to you?" He sounded hurt. Like i had just told him i killed a dog or something. I didn't mean for that to come out like that. I sat up straight and said , "no i don't. You're different, in a good way. i'm sorry i made you feel that way, i'm just used to not being wanted so when you said that you were happy, i felt safe in a way." I said finally looking at him. 

He had a smile on his face, "you feel safe with me?" I smiled back, smaller than his and said, "yeah, i do." And in a blink he was hugging me. I was tense for a bit before relaxing and hugging back. It felt good. I felt one of his arms go off and he goes back. His arms come back round and i saw what he was holding. "Where was this?" "um, well when i first came here i hid some in the drawers, but when i quit i purposefully left one just in case i was really anxious. It's what i used to do before, i couldn't think of anything else. I'm sorry i disappointed you. " I said looking down, playing with the sleeve of my t-shirt. I felt his hand stroking my hair and say, "can you look at me...please?" I looked up at him and he continued, "i'm not disappointed with you, everyone who is dealing with addiction goes through some relapse, it's if you get over those bumps shows how much you want to quit. so don't beat yourself up over it, ok?" I nod my head and put it back on his shoulder.

it was silent for a bit, not uncomfortable, but a nice silence. "you wanna watch a movie downstairs?" "yeah sure." I said and removed myself from him. We went down, he got snacks and quickly made some pasta for dinner. He set everything up on the coffee table and he sat down. "so what movie?" i paused for a bit before saying, "have you watched 10 things i hate about you?" "no." I gasped, putting my hand on my chest in a playful way. "you haven't?!" "no, but don't you have a poster of that movie in your room." "Yeah, it's one of my favourite movies, omg we are watching it." He laughed and grabbed his pasta. "ok, put it on." I got my pasta ad put the movie on.

Seb's pov:

After the movie finished and the credits rolled i said, "wow that was really good.you were right." I looked down and saw y/n was asleep on my chest. I smiled and turned the tv off and took the bole of chips  or as she would call them 'crisps' out of her hands and on the table. 'i'll clean it up tomorrow.' I lifted her up and carried her bridal style as it was much easier. She snuggled in me as we were walking up the stairs. I got to her room and opened the door and walked into her room. I set her down on her bed and put the covers over her. I switched on her led lights as i know she sleeps with them on and kissed her forehead. "good night hun." i was about to walk out when i heard her mumble, "night dad." I smiled to myself and shut the door and walked to my room and went to bed. 

a/n: yes two posts in a row. i'm that good. how did you like this one? finally got her to say dad and revealed a bit of her past. there is more to unfold later on. will post tomorrow. byeee <3