"Till the end of time"-malec x oc

chapter 57

after speaking with magnus that night,,,things were off...i knew he was upset and broken, you could see it in his eyes, you could see the way he didnt make eye contact with me and alec as we left.

 i wanted nothing more than to be able to comfter him and look after him...but alec wouldnt let me. he said we had to give him space.

punching harshly into the boxing bag infront of me, my hands tightly wrapped up, sweat dripping down the side of my face, my hair pulled back into a pony tail.

all i could see was valentines face on the bag, each time i would punch the bag it would wind myself up even more.

alec stands off to the side, leaning against the wall in the training room, with his arms crossed just watching as my eyes flash yellow as my anger and emostions spike.

"is everything okay?" izzy questions, coming into the room, retsing on the wall next to alec watching the way i harshly punch the bag grunting,

"no" alec mutters back, looking straight at me, concerne written all over his face.

 he could tell not regressing was making my life hell, i was stressed everyone could tell actually. but i could t actually do it. i couldnt regress because....a little and vampire? thats just not going to work? what if i hurt someone...like magnus or alec....i can barely control myself now..let alone when im little.

" this has to stop" alec mutters, pushing himself off the wall, walking over to me, as i grunt punching into the bag again and again and again." gracie" he speaks, standing just off to teh side watching the way my eyes focus on nothing but the bag as i continue to punch it." gracie we need to talk" he speaks again looking at me with a serious expression.

ignoring him still i punch the bag again, this time punching straight threw it, making sand fall threw the large hole i just created.

just staring straight at the large hole i created on the bag and just watching the way the sand falls i fail to notice alec stepping towards me before he puts his hand on my shoulde making my whole body tense.

 instantly i turn and shove him away from me making both his eyes and izzys widen.

"okay okay" alec speaks quickly putting his hands up slightly seeing the panick written all over my face and the way my eyes flash.

" i didnt mean to...." i mutter shaking my head slightly, my panicked expression dancing from between the bag and his face.

"its okay...no ones mad"alec speaks holding his hands up looking at me with an assuring face.

"i..i...i didnt mean to break it...im sorry" i stutter looking at him, tears forming in my eyes now making him nod back, he slowly lowers his hands and takes a step towards me.

 before the tears fall down my face and a sob leaves my mouth making him instantly wrap his arms around me pulling ,e into his chest.

he looks over at izzy, the siblings amking eye contact with a very worried expression on both of their faces as alec holds me as i cry.

sitting on my bed in the instute, alec next to me with a concerned look on his face, i sit with my legs just handing down of the side of the bed, alec sitting the same way.

my hair is down now, covering my blochy face from him.

"what happened?" he questions reaching for my hands that sit next to me, bunched up into the duvet of the bed. b ut as he tries to lock our hands together i pull it away and lay it on my lap.

"nothing... i just got carried away." i whisper back, staring at my lap, i could see from the corner of my eye the way he was staring at me,

 and it made me want to do nothing but climb into his lap, and get him to call magnus and all of us just relax, let the look after me whilst i regress...

but i cant.

 i know i said i was ready to talk...but magnus getting hurt...us not believing him...made me realise...i cant be the one to hurt them....it would kill me.

" im gonna have a shower" i speak pushing myself off the bed, ignoring the way alec looks as if he wants to speak. i just walk straight into the bathroom shutting the door.

leaning back against the doo, staring up at the celling my eyes pric with tears making me sigh, taking a deep breath before i step into the shower.

when i come out the shower he wasnt sat in my room anymore, so i just quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a white top and black trainers before grabbing a jacket and then walking out of the room.

walking threw the instsinute i looked all around for him before finding hm stood in the main room with izzy.

"i dont know whats going on with her iz...okay but im worried...." i hear him speak amking me freeze." i dont know how to help her.. she wont talk...she wont regress...everythings just falling apart" he speaks before izzy pulls him in for a hug making my eyes widen.

this is effeting him alot more than i realised....

sighing i walk over and stand next to them making them both instantly pull away, they both look at me wearily making me sadly smile.

"im fine... dont worry" i say smiling sadly looking up at him. making him relaise i heared the conversation. he nods his head making me nod back.

"i Heard from Mom." izzy speaks making me look over at her frowning confused.

" Max is on his way." alec speaks, clearing up my confused expression,

max.... alec's little brother.

"Feels like just yesterday we were taking knives away from him."izzy speaks smiling shaking her head making me smile slightly too.

i never had to look after clary when we were growing, never had to look after anyone...they were always looking after me...

"Well he's lucky to have you as a tutor."alec speaks putting his hand on izzy shoulder lightly making her face drop slightly.

"izzy?" i question looking at her confused seeing the way her face isnt so sure.

"Maybe it's a mistake putting me in charge of him."she speaks shaking her head making me and alec look at each other confused.

"are you kidding?2 alec questions looking at her with a surpirsed expression,"Izzy, you're the smartest one here. You're one of our toughest fighters." alec speaks seriously looking at her making her sigh.

" But it's just... I don't totally feel like myself yet" she mutter sshaking her head, looking around to make sure no one heared.

" What about those mundane meetings?" i question, shes been going to meeting to help the adiction to yin fen.

".They're helping... even though they think I'm talking about heroin." she speaks making alec and me laugh slightly.

but before either of us could speak again, suddnely people come rushing in threw the doors of the insute.

and a strong scent hits my nose.

blood...