One Last Shot

[10] Backtrack

Tonight we're heading to the gym for the boys' game. Liam went in pretty quiet, some fight with his dad, so he's already on edge. We settle in, grab snacks and seats in the crowded bleachers, and watch tip-off. In the 2nd quarter, some guy pushes a little on Liam's hip, normal, just letting him know he's there. Liam didn't like this, and shoves this guy back, knocking into Grayson, who flies onto their bench and hits his head. The game stops.

"I'll take a look," Lilly says, rushing through the bleachers. Lilly's a pre-med student, so she knew everything to do.

Violet and Thomas also get up a minute later to check on him, but I stay seated. I know this scenario all too well.

Senior year of high school. Semi-final game against the hardest team in the division. I need to pull a foul, we need to break their flow, they're up 50-48 with 30 seconds left. We need to win.

"Pull a foul!" My coach yells. Okay, this girl's been pretty pushy the whole game. She's their star player, rattling her will help. I tap her hip, and she gives me a look. Okay she wants to go. She pushes me a little harder. Fuck this, I don't have any time for this. Boom, she hits the ground. I may have stuck my foot out while she was running. Why is everyone crowding?

Her head is cracked open, she fell on the basketball. I did that.

Watching people crowd around Grayson, it's too much. I push through the bleachers, I see Liam watching me, and leave the gym. Wiping tears from my eyes, I splash cold water on my face in the bathroom. I feel the same guilt I did the day I did that. And then I realize something. I'm pitiful. There is something going on out there, and I'm in here feeling guilty about my past. I push out the doors and know exactly who I'm going to.

"Where is he?" I ask Lilly.

"Boys locker room." I head in to see Liam's head in his hands.

"Yo."

"What are you doing here? Go away."

"I know exactly what you're going through."

"I don't care, go check on Grayson." I sigh, sitting on the bench next to him.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Are you? You left the gym pretty quickly after the hit."

"Not my situation." Lilly comes in, looking for bandages, and sees us.

"Oh hunny..." Lilly wraps me in a hug. "I completely forgot, I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine, seriously, not my situation to be involved in. I don't know why I'm trying to help him in the first place."

"Iris?" Oh no. Please, anyone but you.

"Coach Campbell?" I turn around, my face plastered with a smile, and Coach Campbell has entered the locker room. "Are you a friend of Liam's?"

"You could say that," I say through gritted teeth. I hear Liam snicker behind me.

"You okay son?" She asks.

"Fine, thanks Coach."

"Iris, sad to see you in the bleachers and not on the court," she says, and panic rises in me.

"What do you mean?" Liam asks.

"Well, Iris got into this school with a scholarship to play basketball for the girl's team, but she gave it up at the last minute. We always miss you. You could've been the asset to our team we needed. You truly have some talent."

"Thank you Coach, but I have my reasons."

"Can you at least help and coach our little girls programs?"

"That, I would love to do," I smile.

"Our little Iris is back on the court!" Lilly cheers, wrapping me in a hug. "I've missed that." The game continues, they win, but before we leave, Liam approaches us. He sat out the rest of the game, and when the team is celebrating, he comes over.

"I think you and I need to talk," he says.

"Later, I'm tired."

"No, now." Everyone else leaves us, Lilly giving me a look and Violet making kissing noises, both giggling.

"What?"

"Why the fuck aren't you playing for the school? I saw your moves the other day, you're insane. Why'd you stop?"

"You don't need to hear the burnout story of the century, 'kay pretty boy?"

He looks at me expectantly.

"I cracked a girl's head open."

"Holy fuck Iris," he guffaws, "I knew you were scary but that?! How did you even manage-"

"Listen, it was very serious and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't turn it into some joke. I ruined her career and I swore off ever playing again, so, I get how you feel.."

"Damn, that's intense."

"No fucking shit. But I'm okay with teaching some little girls, that's how I started to improve, and it's when the love for the sport really blossoms. I wouldn't mind helping to nurture that."

"That's pretty cool of you," I look at him with a shocked expression, "That is the only time you will ever hear me say that, don't make me regret it. Can I talk to you about something?"

"I guess."

"It's about that basketball camp you're helping with. I'll be there."

"I thought the guys' did a different camp?"

"Yeah, I'll be there as a guardian. I signed my sis-sibling," he clears his throat, "up for it because they want to play like me."

"Okay, so what do you need to talk to me about?"

"Well, they told me a little while ago that they are non-binary, and use they/them pronouns."

"Okay..." I have no idea why he's bringing this up with me.

"Could you just be nice to them? My family is still adjusting to the whole thing, and I feel like they're struggling with feeling accepted. I feel bad I signed them up for the girls' basketball camp, because I'm afraid if they did the boys camp they'd get bullied."

"Did you ask them which one they would prefer?"

"No, it was a surprise gift for their birthday."

"In the future, ask them which gender they're more comfortable playing with. If they have no preference, sign them up for both! You're still adjusting and that's understandable, but I'll make sure to be nice."

"I appreciate it."

"I mean, I'm always nice so that won't be a probl-"

"Don't go inflating your ego now," he chuckles. I put my hands up, almost surrendering, and start backing away until I'm out of the gym.