Mercenaries of the Gods: Chronicle One - Stories

RINA

So I just showed my amazing to my imprisoned kin and they all gasp as my awesomeness and the oldest of the elementals comes up to me and says in a boring ass voice "Who are you young one?" 

I think for a second. "I don't have a name yet but we got to get you all the fuck out of here right now." 

"While we desire nothing but that, escape is impossible." says the old fart all depressed like. 

I huff before saying "There are enough of us bad asses here to start a Gaia-damned uprising!" 

The old one gives me a sad ass look. "While I admire your spirit young one, your efforts will be for nothing. We tried many a uprisings and each one was cut down at the cost of many lives." He looks at the floor like his spirit is fucking broken. "Our resistance is dead." 

"No!" I shout all pissed off that they fucking gave up and the whole room looks at me so I try to say something to get them really fucking pumped up and I mean like a drunk Morothoth in a wicked fucking mosh pit kind of pumped up so I blurt out "Resistance is now alive!" Honestly I was trying to say resistance is reborn all fucking cool like but resistance is now alive just kinda popped out so I just fucking went with it like a boss. 

"Child, one cannot just confront the power of the Leprechauns." he says all sad and shit. "These chokers keep our powers in check and another grass elemental cannot take them off." All the others lower their heads like their ashamed and shit. "Unless you have a plan for removing them, or another army, your attempt at a rebellion is futile." 

My brain tries really hard to come up with a fucking good idea and finally one is found in my endless awesome. "I know someone who might help if he remembers who the fuck I am and is down for killing the shit out of a few Leprechauns." 

The old elemental gives me a curious ass look. "And who might that be?" 

I give him my best evil smirk. "Jorb." 

"Jorb the Corroder?" he exclaims as the whole room starts to murmur and shit. "You expect a swamp dragon to help our cause? Are you insane?" 

"I am bat shit crazy but that has nothing to do with the idea and I think I can convince him." My cute ears perk up from a sound. "Something's coming so I think that's my cue to get the fuck out of here so keep your spirits up cause I will be back as soon as fucking I can and remember that resistance is now alive!" 

At bad-ass speed I turn into the grass snake form and slither my amazing out and make my way out into the night and try to figure out where the fuck I am and get lost for a day or two before I figure out where the fuck Jorb's home is and I finally make it the fucking edge of the peat bog and announce myself and my intentions then I tread slow and careful as shit cause peat moss isn't the biggest fan of grass elementals for some fucking reason and I see the same dead ass bodies in the bog that were there the last time fucking I came for a visit and that's kinda fucking cool and creepy at the same time and eventually I find the hollowed out hill in the center of the bad ass swamp and my incredawesome enters with a balance of caution and confidence cause dragons can be a bit fucking territorial but we are both of Gaia so I think I might be good. 

My amazing gets deep into his dark ass cave that's a lot bigger than I remembered but it's been along ass time and then I turn a corner to see a big fucking dragon on his treasure heap in a marshy chamber and he's about one-hundred twenty feet or so and very fucking sleek with no wings and kinda looked like an eel with webbed claws cause he's a kick ass swimmer and colored like if Thrack's skin and Alan's Void eyes had creepy ass baby and there were lots of half dissolved corpses around the big fucking room cause swamp dragons spew magical hydrofluoric acid and that is some nasty fucking shit if you didn't know and I see a deep ass part of the marsh off to one side of his pile of bling and I remember from last time that it's his pickling area cause he loves him some human pickles.