Mercenaries of the Gods: Chronicle One - Stories

Mi'kog Hangover Blaster

Rina's eyes get huge as she looks at Grania. "Oh shit you're about to spew!" At insane speed, Rina grabs Grania with a cornstalk arm and extends it into the bathroom. Grania's head make it over the toilet just when she vomits hard. Rina extends another arm into the bathroom and holds Grania's hair back as she continues vomiting. Not wanting to look, Rina keeps her head turned, closes her eyes hard and scrunches her small nose. After two minutes, Grania finally finishes up and all but passes out. With great care, Rina places her back in bed on her side and tucks her in gently. Finding a rag in the bathroom, Rina cleans up Grania the best she can before taking a seat in the lonely chair. She downs the rest of the whiskey and lets out a sigh "I am so fucking happy I am biologically unable to do that cause that shit looks like it sucks sweaty gorilla balls." Annoyed she is kinda stuck in the room for the rest of the night, Rina looks around the room for something fun to do, sees a pen and gets a wicked smirk on her face. 

The next morning Rina is in her favorite spot in the dining hall enjoying a nice bowl of sunshine and talking to Thrack about the job she just took, trying to get him to come along. The conversation takes a small pause when HQ teleports to Angel Falls and they both stop to take in the wondrous sight. As they look at it with smiles Grania enters slowly the dining hall, still wearing the same cloths as the night before. Looking very hungover and disheveled, with a large and crudely drawn penis on her forehead, snickers follow her as she all but stumbles to the table. She finally hauls her form to the chair next to Rina and puts her hands on her on the table. Thrack looks to Grania and says knowingly "Rough night Grania?" 

It takes a lot of effort, but Grania eventually looks up at Thrack. "I, ummmm, was drinking with Rina last night." 

As Rina gets a cocky grin on her face, Thrack lets out a laugh. "I expected that to be your response. Many creatures look as you do after such a night." 

 The server moves over and turns a few of its eye stalks at Grania. "You look like you tried keepin up with Rina! That was a dumb thing to do!" 

Too hungover to be embarrassed, Grania closes her eyes and puts her head back on the table. "Not, ummm, so loud please. It feels like a dozen dragons fighting in my skull." 

Rina, Thrack and the server chuckle. Thrack looks over to the server and requests on Grania's behalf "One Mi'kog hangover blaster for the silly one there." He pauses a moment while he ponders what he craves. "Today my appetite desires a complete leg of lamb, bone in and raw, as well as one pot of English Breakfast with cream and sugar please. Please put her drink on my bill if you would." 

The server looks at him with a few eye stalks while jotting down the order. "The lamb legs ain't been skinned yet. You alright with that?" 

"Oh, very much." he states with a big smile. "Skin and fur add quite a bit of texture as well as flavor." 

The server smiles and retreats to the back to fetch the order. Grania slowly looks up at Thrack, having just realized what was said. "So, ummmm, what did you order me?" 

"Mi'kog hangover blaster." Thrack states. "It is a drink created by the Magi. The taste is less than stellar but it very much lives up to its name." Grania's head returns to its position on the table as Track looks at Rina. "The state of young Grania here makes me curious what did you two do last night." 

Rina looks up from her bowl. "We fucking drank of course and I found out this bitch is from mother fucking Ireland too and I told her about my awesomeness being born and me meeting the dryads and she fucking hit on me then she puked so fucking hard Mbombo would be proud and I think it came out her fucking nose and then she passed the fuck out and I put her in bed and cleaned her up a bit cause I'm nice and shit and then my amazing finished drinking the bottle she bought me without fucking knowing and then I drew stuff on her face." 

As a wave of embarrassment washes over her, Grania looks up and her eyes widen. "What?!" she cries before she grabs the metal napkin dispenser and looks into it to find a crude penis scribbled on her forehead. She glares over at Rina. "You fucker!" Her glare turns to Thrack. "And you Thrack. You could of told me!" 

In unison, Rina and Thrack bust our laughing as Grania sets down the dispenser. Grania take a napkin and does her best to wipe the graffiti off her face while glaring at the two. Thrack looks to Rina and asks "Did you delight her with your epic story of the Leprechaun War yet? Of all your tales that one is by far the best in my humble opinion." 

Knowing it's once again time for her to be the center of attention, Rina smiles, but less than one might expect. "Not yet cause she passed out after fucking spewing her brains out and I don't talk to myself about my fucking amazing that much cause I don't need to though now seems like a fucking good time for a fucked up story before your troll ass starts crunching on lamb bone...