Mercenaries of the Gods: Chronicle One - Stories

Family Squabbles

It was just bout forty years after Alan an I started datin. Our relationship was really good. We spent lots of time at me place in tha Atacama Desert. Even ta this day, I have never been ta his place in tha Void cause, well ya can't exactly walk there. But I am curious about it an want ta meet Jordyn. Anyway, I remember many nights under tha stars sippin on rum out on me back porch with me man. Life was good. That is till tha family crazy found us. 

I remember tha day will. It was mid-June an Alan an I just got back from a fun little job on his home island. We were chillin on tha back porch talkin ta me neighbors, a sand an a glass elemental that had a super cute relationship. They were tellin us about their vacation in Death Valley. Tha sweet story paused when out of tha sky from tha east, came a raven. I'm tryin ta remember which one, but I can never remember which raven is which. Daddy has a lot of ravens. Anyway, it dropped off a message an flew away. Carefully I open it up, read it slowly. Me eyes get big an I say quietly "Shit." 

Alan looks over at me a little worried cause I almost never curse. "What's wrong baby?" 

Tryin not ta be a downer, I say with a lot of fake happy "Daddy invited us ta dinner baby." 

Alan blinks a few times an our guests chuckle a little bit. Me man takes a big gulp of rum before sayin "Are you feeling alright baby? I swear you said 'us'. Are you sure you didn't mean 'you'?" 

Our guests smirk, tryin not ta laugh. Me eyes still big, I look at me man. "I'm sure baby. It has your name on it." I gulp. "It looks like me Daddy wants ta meet ya." 

Alan's eyes get as big as mine. "Oh shit." Our guests can't hold it in an finally start laughin hard. I wasn't mad cause I would've laughed if I was them. 

A few days later we leave for Asgard. We take tha long way knowin there is a slim chance it will be crazy when we get there. An we take a lot of booze. We cut through tha big jungles. It was nice an me man showed me tha temple he found his book in. From there we take a boat ta tha Sahara. We stop by tha Pyramids an me man gives me a very dirty spankin bent over a sarcophagus. Ra still give us crap for that an had ta put up a sign. Anyway, we avoid Greece cause, ya know, tha whole weddin thin when I sucked out a soul of a king. So we make our way over tha Caucasus Mountains. Even if it's pretty, I always get pissed by tha Black Sea, cause it's not actually black an a black sea sounds awesome. Anyway, from there we head northeast an a few days later we finally make it ta Asgard. 

Tha guards give us some grief cause non-Vikin mortals are not really allowed in Asgard. But I am tha Daughter of Odin an he lets us in like an obedient little boy. We make our way through tha city as Alan's hand rests on me swingin hip. Many eyes look at us as we head ta tha main fort. Alan looks around tha city he knows better than he should an says casually "This place looks so different when I am not sneaking in to steal shit." 

Me eyes get really, really big an start ta glow red. My face scowls an I glare at me man. "Shut ya mouth baby!" He turns his head an snickers while I continue yellin at him. "Ya didn't even put on a nice shirt ta meet Daddy an now ya talkin about old jobs! Ya know they don't like that stuff here much right?" 

Me man gives me that smart ass grin of his. "Of course I do baby. Just trying to break the tension a bit." 

Me eyes go back ta purple an I slap him hard on tha chest. "Ya are tha worst sometimes." 

He lets out a cute chuckle an I slap him again. We weave through tha streets. It was a cold day, but when was it not in Asgard. Alan wore his standard shirt an jeans despite me yellin at him ta change inta somethin nice. I put on somthin a bit more proper cause Daddy didn't like me bikini. In me favorite long purple dress that perfectly matches me eyes, I pull away from Alan's embrace an hold his hand. We both don't like that, but we don't want ta piss off Daddy either. Makin it ta tha fort take a bit of time cause we go slow. We da stop on tha way at me favorite bakery an grab a pomegranate punsch rolls they started carryin just for me. They were really good an it was nice ta have a moment of peace before tha crazy. Anyway, we get ta tha big 'ole gates an tha guards give us more grief but eventually let us in. We get ta tha foyer of Daddy's house an I start lecturin Alan. "Now Mama an Daddy are very protective of me. An so is me big brother Thor. So just be nice an respectful an please, please, please don't say anythin about any jobs baby."