The Light in the Darkness

Chapter 8:

I sat on the side of the road, my heart beating fast. I swerved to the left just in time. The car laid on its horn as it passed. I kind of wished it would have hit me, and end all this misery. I calmed down and pulled back onto the road. I finally made it home and I headed into the empty house. Mom works late tonight so at least I had the house to myself for a little while. I went up to my room, throwing myself on my bed; only to start crying. I cried myself to sleep, only to wake two hours later to a still empty and quiet house and a crushing headache. I got up and trudged to the bathroom. Turning on the water, I removed my clothes. I looked at myself in the mirror. You can see the scars down my left wrist and inner thighs. Turning away from my reflection of the girl I don't even recognize anymore, I stepped into the now filled tub. As the hot water cloaked me, the tears began to fall again. I'm starting to wonder if this hurt will ever go away. My mind wandered to the fliers, the chanting, taunting and laughing. I picked up the razor that was sitting on the side of the tub.

"You will never be perfect; you will always be a freak." Diamond's words echoed in my mind.

Taking the blade to my skin, I carved "perfect" into my arm. I was numb all over. If I wasn't watching I wouldn't have even noticed the blade even touching me. The tears escaped from my lids again. I took the blade in my other hand. I took a deep breath and carved "freak" onto my unscarred wrist. The dripping blood turned my water crimson. My head felt fuzzy. Dropping the razor to the floor, I laid back and closed my eyes.

~~~

I sat in my car in the school parking lot. I just got off the phone with Sarah, telling me she was staying with her friends. I went back to school. Everything was exactly how it was left. Zoë's locker was wide open and fliers everywhere. It took me quite a long time to clean it up. I was so angry at whoever did this. I spent most of the time coming up with ways to make them pay if I ever found them out. They had no right. I finished cleaning, making sure no fliers were in sight. I closed her locker and left. I needed to see if she was okay.

~~~

I pulled into the driveway behind Zoë's car. I grab my bag and head into the house.

"Zoë, I'm home!" I yelled.

There was no reply. I headed upstairs; maybe she was taking a nap. I tossed my bag in my room as I passed. I walked into Zoë's room; her bag was on the floor of her empty bed.

"Zoë!" I called out.

I walked to her bathroom door and knocked.

"Zoë, it's Jace. Are you okay?"

Again, no reply.

"Zoë!" I banged on the door, still nothing.

I opened the door and peered in.

"Zoë!" I ran to the tub.

I saw a bloody razor on the floor and her water was dark.

"Zoë, wake up." I said, shaking her. "Zoë!"

I started to panic. I felt sick.

"Jace?" She said softly. "What are you doing here?" She covered herself up.

"I called for you and you didn't answer. I got worried."

"I'm fine, I fell asleep." She said,

"Zoë, what did you do?"

"N...nothing." She said, looking away.

"Let me help you." I said.

"No, I'm fine. You don't have too."

"Zoë, please. I want to."

I grabbed a towel and held it out for her. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it. I looked away when she stood up. She got the towel and wrapped it around her.