The Light in the Darkness

Chapter 34:

Mattie gets out tomorrow, finally. It's been three weeks. He's doing way better. They told him to take it easy for a little bit, he sometimes has a hard time breathing if he does too much at a time. Anne and Beth are throwing him a welcome home party at my house tomorrow so they nominated me to keep him distracted while they decorate the house. I stayed overnight with him so he didn't have to be alone. He's been asleep for about two hours now. The hospital was quiet which was unusual. I could hear the shuffling of the night nurse's feet as they made their rounds. I quietly got up from the pull out bed. I glanced over at Mattie, he was sound asleep. I left the room, shutting the door softly behind me. I made my way down the quiet halls. A nurse smiled at me as she walked by. The hospital has a library which is where I've been going when I stayed here and couldn't sleep. I sat in the chair I sat in last time and opened a copy of The Fault in Our Stars. Gus and Hazel just kissed in the Anne Frank house, it's so romantic.

"Zoë?"

My heart stopped. It's been awhile but I knew that voice anywhere. I looked up from the book.

"Josh, what are you doing here?"

"Well, your boyfriend and his friends beat the shit out of me, remember?'

"That was three weeks ago?"

"Yeah, Well, Jace has a pretty hard knee. I had to come here for a checkup. He cracked my rib and it wasn't healing right so they got to make sure everything is okay. So, I get to stay overnight."

"Am I supposed to be sorry?"

"No," He said. "I know I deserved it."

I raised my eyebrow.

"You're reading faults?" He said. "My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations."

"You've read it?" I asked.

"Yeah, who hasn't?" He said.

"Wait, what's your angle, Lavigne?"

"I don't have one." He said,

"Then why are you here? I doubt you are here to discuss this book."

"Um, I came here to apologize." He said.

"Seriously. How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Please, just hear me out?"

I sighed. 'You have two minutes."

"Look, I know I made your life a living hell, Mattie's also. I know what I did was unforgivable. I really did deserve everything Jace gave me. I was a bully and a jerk. I wish I could change everything that I have ever done. After Jace and the guys left me on the wet ground, I actually wished he would have killed me. I'm so ashamed of what I did to Mattie. I confessed to my mom what I did to Mattie and why and she cried. I hurt my mother. That's one thing I said I would never do. I'm so sorry, Zoë. I'm going to go to Mattie's room tomorrow morning and apologize to him myself."

"One question." I said, "Why did you do it, any of it?"

"To be honest, I was jealous of you."

"Wait what."

"I liked Mattie, I always tried to get close to him and then you came along. The very first day he took a liking to you. It angered me, so I was a class A dick to you, hoping it would scare you away. I didn't know you had problems."

"But it still doesn't make sense, why did you bully Mattie?"

"One of my friends found out my feelings for him and he acted on them. He hated it; he didn't think it was normal for me to like a guy so I acted on them. I dated different girls in school, I bullied Mattie so they think my feelings changed but it also made me get close to him in some way. Then three weeks later, I saw Mattie on the street. I went to him to tell him why I was such an asshole to him but my friends followed. I guess I just took my anger out for my friends on Mattie. I regret it so much."