The Light in the Darkness

Chapter 29:

I woke up with a dead cell phone next to me. I stayed up half the night waiting for Zoë's call which never came. It's been awhile since I've heard from her, Stacey hasn't either. The calls stopped, the letters never came. I don't know how she is anymore. I have this tight knot in the pit of my stomach, I feel like I'm standing on the edge and the only way down is to jump. I got out of bed and stretched my aching body. I slowly made my way to the bathroom for a quick shower. It's graduation day, the day before Zoë's visitation day. I really can't wait, I need to see her, and I have to see her. How will I survive today?

~~~

"Are you excited for your last day of school?" Stacey asked.

"Yeah, I guess." I took an apple out of the basket sitting on the counter and took a bite. "I just wished Zoë was here, you know? It's her day too."

"I know." She sighed. "Hang tight, love. We'll see her tomorrow."

"Yeah," I said, smiling again.

"Now get going, I'll see you for the ceremony."

"Okay." I kissed her cheek and headed to the door. I finished off the apple and tossed its core in the trash on my way out.

***

-Hey Journal

Guess what? I would be graduating today but instead I'm here. I'm bummed that I'm not there with the others but that's okay, I'm doing great here. Tomorrow is visitation day. I finally got to see mom and Jace after so long. I haven't called them in a while it gets so hard to talk to them now. I only miss them more. I haven't written the others either, I probably should. I really miss them.

-Zoë

I've been doing really well here since I've opened up about my past. Dr. Phillips has been focusing on one thing at a time. It's actually getting easier: I feel happier, way happier than I was when I started out here. I haven't had a thought or urge, my demons haven't been around which I'm grateful for, I think I've got them tamed. Well, I hope so anyway. Dr. Phillips gave me a day off today. He said I am making incredible progress so I earned it. I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to wear tomorrow but I can't decide. I haven't brought much to begin with but I need something different than my everyday sweats look.

"Zoë, what are you doing?" B said, walking into the room.

I was lying on the floor with my clothes all around me which wasn't much.

"I don't have anything to wear tomorrow!" I groaned.

She laughed.

"Here let me help."

I got up and she helped me put my clothes back in my dresser.

"I got the perfect outfit." She said, grinning.

We walked over to her dresser. I stood back as she rummaged through her drawers. She pulled out a pair of distressed skinny jeans and a cropped kiss shirt."

"Wear this with your converse" She said, smiling. "It'll look better on you anyway."

"Thank you so much." I said hugging her.

I put the clothes on my chair where my shoes sat. They finally allowed me to have my shoestrings back since I'm not a threat to myself anymore. I'm glad though, I really missed my chucks. I was glad Brit was the same size as me, I'm so grateful for her.

~~~

We've been sitting in this hot auditorium for what seems like hours listening to the valedictorian speak on and on about how we did it and then she would read some quotes and passages on what graduating means and how we all need to keep in touch after we leave. I couldn't help but chuckle. It's all bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Once we graduate we won't remember each other, nothing will change. They will be the exact same as they are in school. The gym was quiet as they switched speakers. I could hear the sniffling cries of a couple girls' two rows in front of me. They finally got to the names. One by one students went up and got their diplomas. Diana Matthews and Dylan Ann Mercury was before me