Let Me Dream || Victon

Chapter Forty-Three: Escape

Seungwoo and Byungchan went to the gardens together. They'd asked Gayoung and Chan if they wanted to come along, but they'd both said no. 

Everything that had happened was suddenly sinking in, and she wanted to cry. She realized that her life as she knew it might change because of this one tiny incident, and it scared her more than she wanted to admit. 

She turned to Chan, who'd been silent since they got there. But when she tried to speak, no words came to her. She suspected that if she tried, she'd just end up in tears. 

"Want to watch a movie?" he asked, his voice gentle. She just nodded, still not trusting herself to speak. So she just followed him silently through Seungwoo's giant house until they got to a small theatre. She nodded when he suggested a romantic comedy for a movie, and she remained silent as they found their seats. 

She remained silent and held herself together throughout most of the movie. It was only when the ending credits started to roll up did she feel the tears start running down her face. The movie had been a blissful escape, where she'd been able to be caught up in other people's problems. But now she was back to her own reality, and the fear came back to her. 

Once she started crying she couldn't stop herself. Her shoulders were shaking and she covered her face with her hands, not wanting Chan to see her in this state. 

"Gayoung?" 

She just shook her head, not wanting to look at him. Not wanting to talk to him, or anyone. She wanted to disappear from the face of the earth. 

"Gayoung," he whispered again, his voice saying her name so tenderly and so full of worry that it only served to make her cry harder. He put his hands on her arms and gently pulled her up so that she was standing. Then he wrapped his arms around her and held her while she cried. 

"I'm so scared," she finally whispered. "I'm so scared and I hate myself so much." 

"Why would you hate yourself?" he said softly, not letting go of her. She buried her head into his chest, feeling as though he was her rock at this moment. 

"Because I feel so alone. I'm jealous that Byungchan and Chaewon are able to go through this together and rely on each other, but it feels like I have no one," she said, her voice breaking. "I feel selfish. And scared. I don't want to be in any sort of spotlight. I don't want to see myself in news articles, unless my name is there as the author. I don't want a life in the spotlight," she said again. "I don't." 

He held her tighter. "Gayoung," he said. "You're not alone." He pulled away from her a little, placing two fingers under her chin and forcing her to look up and meet his eyes. His thumb caught her next tear. "You're not alone," he repeated. "Because you have me."