Holding On

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I hear deafening screams around me and waiting for impact but to my suprise nothing happens instead I find myself on the ground, on top of Siyabulela. I look up and see a black Audi just a few steps away from us and begin to wonder whether the car hit the us both or not, or whether Siyabulela jumped in front of it to get me out the way. The bystanders are still watching the incident before them with some clutching their purses and mouths while some have already taken out their cellphones and have started recording all of this... ngumntu omnyaman for wena ke lowo. (That's a black person for you) Instead of helping they would rather record an incident just so that they can have evidence that they were part of the observers that actually witnessed it... sigh. The doors of the Audi open and a man wearing an Italian suit step out and begins to hurl insults our way "uphambene?" (Are you crazy?) "Ufuna ukuzibulala?" (Do you want to kill yourself?) "Uba ufuna ukuzibulala (if you want to kill yourself) there are other alternatives that are less stupid and more guaranteed than running in front of a moving vehicle sisi! Don't you dare try and include us in your selfish antics, some of us still want to live our lives, guilt free. Do you know what you could have done? I could have gone to jail because of your recklessness!" The man says all this while taking steading steps towards us, pointing his finger at us in a warning manner. To my surprise, Siyabulela has long gotten up from the ground and and is brushing the dirt off his clothes. When he's done, he extends his hand toward me and helps me get up from the groud. "Ingxaki yenu bafazi nizizi..." (The problem with you women is that you are all)

Siyabulela: Sikuvile mjita, uxolo (We have heard you man, we apologize)

Man: Bendingathethi nawe wena sgora (I wasn't speaking to you, bodybuilder)

Siyabulela: Masingaqhelani ke bra! (Let's not be disrespectful toward each other my guy) There's no need to hurl further insults at us. We are aware of what could have happened and we apologies sincerely for what could have happened but mayiphelele apho (let it end there)

The man clicks his tongue and gets into his car, banging the door and drives away with his tires screeching... unnecessary much. I get that he is shaken, but so am I and my intentions were not to kill myself I just wanted to get away from the hospital that's all. After he's driven away, I look around me and notice that the bystanders are still watching us, and some still recording but at this point none of them matters, all I want is to get away from here. Siyabulela grabs my wrist and pulls me towards the direction of hospital gate. He is taking giant steps and I am unable to walk as fast as he does because I have short legs. I try and wiggle my way out of his hold but his grip on my wrist is firm "Siyabulela uyandilimaza." (You're hurting me) I say but he says nothing and continues to take long strides towards the direction of the parking lot where I assume he parked his car. "Siyabulela" I say more firmly but still he keeps quiet and continues to walk. "Siyabulela" I scream. He stops immediately and turns his entire body to face me "what!?" he snaps. My eyes are popped out at this moment, firstly because I have never heard him speak like that since I've met him and secondly who does he think he is raising his voice at me? "Uyandilimaza" (You're hurting me) I say, and he just looks at where is his hand is holding my wrist and slowly eases his hold, although not letting go of my wrist and turns his body and starts walking away again.

At this point my eyes are blurry and these damn tears are ready to fall. I'm still shaken about what could have happened just now and I also don't understand why this man is so angry at me... why is he is manhandling me like this? I see his car in the distance and assume that indeed that is where he is taking us. He opens the passenger door for me to get in and after I do, he closes the door and walks over to the driver's side. By now I am crying without mercy because the adrenalin has started wearing off and the reality of what could have happened to me starts to sink in. How could I have been so selfish to almost get myself killed while my brother is still fighting for his life? What could have become of my mother and siblings if such had happened? Although it was not intentional, I still could have handled my reaction to seeing Anga like that a bit better. Siyabulela gets in from the driver's side and bangs the door. He huffs and turns to look at me.