Holding On

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The past couple of weeks seemed to have passed by so quickly. We had our sports day where I was the umpire for the netball team. Back in my day, way back in my day, I used to play the center position in the sport. I'm short by nature but fast on my feet so you can understand why that position was very befitting. The September school holidays begin on Friday and both educators and learners are eagerly counting down to the day; it has honestly been a busy term and both parties need and deserve this break. Anga has also recovered well so much so that he returned to Port Elizabeth to attend the rest of his lectures for the remaining quarter. Luckily, he didn't miss much during his recovery period back home as his friends made sure to share with him class notes and submit any assignments that were due. He did mention that he would not be coming home for these holidays as he wanted to revise the work he'd received while he was away to prepare himself ahead of time for his end of year exams. Glad that he was being proactive about his studies, I was also a bit bummed that he wasn't going to be coming home for the holidays. See, I wanted to use him as a scapegoat to mom and say that he is visiting me these holidays hence we are both not going home. You may be wondering why I'm not going home this holiday well... Siyabulela and I have become quite close during the past couple of weeks, so much so that we are spending a few days together during the September holidays. See what happened was, during one of our daily evening calls, he started being his sulky self, moping that he was missing me so much so that he was planning on driving down that night to see me as he couldn't handle 'the pain in his heart' anymore; by the way those were his words, not mine. His impulsive self would not hear the reason for anything I said when I tried to stop him from taking such a rash decision. He refuted and said the only thing that would make him not come that night was if I agreed to visit him during the holidays. Backed in a corner, I ended up agreeing to his offer under the premise that he'd forget about the trip, or I'd avoid the topic whenever it arose again but to my misfortune, the man never failed to mention the trip every chance he got. He seemed elated to be honest that we'd be spending some 'quality time' together as he mentioned it.

When it came to discussing the logistics of the visit, he wanted to be the one who travels down to eNgcobo as he felt that it was more convenient for him to do so since he had a car, but I didn't feel comfortable with that as it was going to be more expensive for him taking into consideration fuel and stuff and, I also didn't want to risk being seen by people who knew me, or my mother. He found fault with my reasoning stating that I was trying to hide him, which was not true, and that I probably had a man eNgcobo hence my reluctance for him to be the one who visits *eye roll*. We had a huge fall out surrounding that aspect of the visit, which was so unpleasant for me if I'm being quite honest I'm not used to being at loggerheads with him. He eventually saw reason and agreed that I would be the one who travels as it made more economic sense and we'd only risk being seen by uAnga which was the most preferable option, as opposed to dealing with the people from eNgcobo. As nervous as I am about this trip, I'm also excited about the possibilities of what lies ahead. It's no brainer that I do like Siyabulela and that I do have feelings for him, feelings which I have not disclosed to him as I'm still trying to make sense of what they are and what they could mean but these feelings have not prompted me to accept his proposal for us to court, although I know that it's inevitable, I will end up with this man.

It's Thursday evening and I'm rummaging through my wardrobe trying to decide on the items of clothing that I should pack with me for the trip. The issue is not selecting the weather appropriate item, but rather which item would make me look appealing to this man. I've never been one to dwell too much on my appearance but since the conversations surrounding this trip began, I've become more conscious of what would be more obsequious and what wouldn't be. Take this for an example, normally I shave my bikini area and underarms when I need to, like in summer, but yesterday I found myself going to a beauty parlor to get waxed. I took this decision because I assumed the man would not appreciate any bushes from me, not that I'm implying that anything of that nature will occur, not that I would stop if the opportunity presented itself either, but I thought that I would not want his first intimate impression of me to be that of an unkept lady. Anyway, I selected a few of my matching lacey undergarments, a few casual dresses, jeans, t-shirts, shirts, sleepwear, and a variety of shoes. I'm mindful that I don't overpack as I don't want this man to assume that I'm moving in; I plan to stay there for three days, four max. The plan is to pack all my clothing items tonight and pack my cosmetics in the morning so that I can just come and collect the bag after school without having to do all this. The following morning, I woke up a little bit tired and anxious, I barely slept through the night, and I know all the anxiety stems from this trip, although I try to console myself with the fact that should anything go south, Anga is close by. This consolation also means that I must inform uAnga that I will be in PE for a few days though I'll not be there to see him. I hope he'll assume that I'm there for work, like umculo (musicals) and because of a boy/man.