Holding On

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

It's Monday morning and my blaring alarm reminds me that it's back to school. I could do with an extra week indoors doing nothing but that's a mere dream. Yesterday I left home late in the afternoon all thanks to Miss Cutie, Wami. I kept saying to mom and Inga, "Haike ndimkile," and give them hugs but when it came to saying goodbye to Wami, I just couldn't. (Well, I'm leaving) Her gummy smile and big round eyes would hold me captive. Back to reality, I roll out of bed, removing the t-shirt that I'm wearing and head towards the shower. I set the faucet to the hottest temperature that I can handle; I need the water to loosen the stiffness in my body. I get down in no time and step up to proceed with the rest of my hygiene routine. I get done with applying body lotion and get dressed in a set of black undergarments, nothing sexy just a simple t-shirt bra and thong. Yet again, I didn't prepare any clothes for today so I opt for a quarter sleeved beige maxi dress that's just above the knee and pair it with a pair of nude sandals. I comb my afro out and leave it as is, then I wear a pair of gold stud earrings and I finish my look by applying a bit of perfume, Lancome Idôle. Now I'm ready to face my rascals. I have no appetite this morning, so I opt for an apple instead. I take my belongings and head out of my apartment, locking behind me.

I get to school, and the noise is deafening. Everyone seems reenergized and excited to see each other after the short holiday we had. I on the other hand am exhausted and wishing for the day to come to an end already. The school bell rings and all the learner's line-up and head to their classes. Mr Phakade likes sharing encouraging words with the learners at the beginning of each term which often leaves the students motivated and eager to learn. I spot Thulani making his way into the school premises and giggle a bit. He's late and I know he's going to get an earful from Mr Phakade because he's always late on the first day of each term, something about him forgetting that it's back to work. That's what he says, but you can never be too sure about this one. He lifts his one hand up to Mr Phakade in a "I apologise' type of manner and Mr Phakade simply glares at him. Oh, he's going to have it for real this time around. Ndumi next to me, Nondumiso is her full name and she's our Business Studies educator for learners in grade 10-12, nudges me giggling softly and says "uMr P is livid. Can you see how flared his nose is?" I nearly laugh out loud because Mr Phakade has a huge nose which we often tease him about, behind his back of course, so for her to say it's flared makes her comment even funnier. I place my hand on my mouth to trap the loud laugh that's forcing itself out and shake my head, asking her to stop with her silliness. This one likes getting us into trouble with her jokes that she doesn't laugh too hard at but leaves you in stitches. You know those people, right? Who makes jokes but can hold in their laughter but always leave you in stitches? Yeah, she's one of those. Anyway, we continue listening to Mr Phakade's speech and soon he's done and the students are dismissed. We all head to our classrooms and get started with the day. Mr Phakade always encourages us to plan and share our syllabus schedules for the term with him in advance so that we can make sure that we aren't behind schedule and that we discuss and cover all the topics areas that need to be covered during the term, so I already know what I'll be covering in each lesson. We'll use half of the term to complete the rest of the curriculum and we'll use the rest for revision. The day went along smoothly with a bit of recapping on what we'd covered last term and a generic overview of what the learners should expect this term.

As soon as the bell rings, I start packing my things and I rush to get out of the school premises. My body is drained and is in dire need of proper rest. Though I'd do anything to get to my apartment and sleep, I have to pass by Spar to get my groceries for the month as I'd just bought a few items for when Siya was here to drop me off. My grocery list never changes so I don't even need to make a list of the items that I need to get. I mean how difficult can it be to shop for necessities for one person. I give myself thirty minutes max to do my groceries and head home. I'm busy sifting through the chicken packs, trying to select the one with the biggest, most equally proportioned braai pack, when I hear a voice I thought I'd never hear again, "Zamo, is that you?" I lift my head up just to confirm that I'm not hearing things, that this person is really here beside me. To my dismay, it really is him, my ex-boyfriend, Luthando. He should have just walked past me; he didn't have to make his presence known. I roll my eyes, before greeting back in a flat tone, "Hi." He chuckles much to my annoyance, "It's been a while. You look good," he says, eying me up and down. Yho nkos'yam ndiyalingwa. (Oh my Lord I'm being tested) I haven't been back that long and already the devil is sending his agents to target me. I scoff, "Xa besizodibana phi?" I retort. (When were we going to meet) He chuckles, vexing me even further. He runs his two fingers, his thumb and index finger over his chin, running his eyes all over me and smirks, "Still feisty I see. This is what I always loved about you." I gag, "What do you want, Luthando?" He takes one step back and leans onto his trolley that's filled with groceries. "I want you Zamo. I want you to be my girlfriend again," he utters. Nkos'enofefe. (Good Lord) What have I done to deserve this? I release an exasperated sigh, "If you have nothing better to say, please -" The imbecile interrupts me mid-sentence, "Zamo you know we were good together, great in fact. I'm sure we can -" This time I interrupt him, "Luthando, khawuyeke ukundenza isbhanxa please. Aren't you tired of your scheming and lying ways?" (Stop making me a fool) He shakes his head and opens his mouth to say something, but I raise my hand and stop him from going any further, "Luthando please. Please just leave me alone," I say, despairingly. I don't wait for him to respond; I simply walk away. I'll purchase more meat some other time, right now I just need to get away from him and carry on with what'd brought me here in the first place. The Luthando topic will be uncovered and addressed some other time, not now. I'm not emotionally strong to relive what he put me through. Just as I'm about to head to the tills, I decide to buy four bottles of wine, Chocolate Block, just to help me forget about my encounter with the devil's advocate. I head to the tills after I've finished with my shopping and head out home.