Holding On

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

I don't know whether to cry, laugh in agony or scream to release this pent-up anger and fear inside of me but I know I need to do something. Why couldn't he just leave me alone, huh? I went through so much to get away from him and just as I thought I was succeeding, there he goes, coming back into my life uninvited. The last time I managed to get away was because of my brother's but it seems like the fucker didn't learn his lesson or he simply doesn't care. Luthando is what you call a psychopath; he gets off from hurting people and shows no remorse for his actions. His stalker tendencies are nothing new. You see, he didn't need to be around me to know where I was, with whom, and doing what. All he did was order one of his phonies to follow me around, sometimes discrete and sometimes not, and they would give him feedback on my whereabouts and engagements. This is why I haven't dated in so long. It's because every time I tried getting into a relationship, he would hinder it by sending me or the potential boyfriend threatening messages or he would do something crazy like thrashing the potential boyfriend's house or car. So, in an attempt to not get anyone's child battered or murdered, I opted to stay away from dating and for a while it seemed to have worked until I met Siya. When I was single, he stopped bothering me, but he must have always been watching me from the shadows, monitoring my every movement which makes me think that me bumping into him on Monday at Spar was not a coincidence but a premeditated encounter. Again, I should be crying or screaming thinking about all of this but because I've experienced his worst, I'm just waiting for him to drive Siya away from me, just like he did those before him. You may ask yourselves then why didn't I get him arrested earlier? What's the point of reporting someone to the same officers that are under his payroll? Why'd you think I didn't entertain Siyabulela much when he questions the eeriness of how someone like him can just gain access to a secured complex without authorization? That's because nothing can stand in Luthando's way. Luthando doesn't require approval for anything that he does; he simply gets on with it, with no regard for the repercussions or consequences of his actions. I thought with how my brothers brutally attacked him the last time that he would leave me alone, but I guess I counted my chicken before they hatched. Oh, well, we're in shit now!

I'm not sure how much time has passed since I received that text but we're still unmoved with Siya still standing by the window while I'm still transfixed in the middle of my bedroom. "Nomzamo, ngubani uLuthando?" he asks me without even throwing a single glance my way. (Who is) I know he's not asking this question in a malicious way but more towards understanding who he's dealing with now. I release a shaky breath before looking at him, "We're going to need to sit down for this one love. How about we take the shower that we were intending on taking before we got disturbed, have our breakfast, then I'll tell you all about him." He shifts from his standing position and walks towards me. As soon as he reaches me, I wrap my arms around his waist, which he reciprocates. I rest my head on his chest and listen to the beat of his heart, which soothes all my worries. Siya gently rests his chin on top of my head making me feel even shorter than I already am. "Baby man," I whine. His chest vibrates against my ear, "Khange ndithi ube yibhaw'shane mna." (I didn't say be a midget) Nxa! Idiot. I don't like people who make fun of my height. I playfully punch him on his stomach causing him to groan, "Uxolo sthandwa sam," he repents. (Sorry my love) I unwrap my hands from his waist, followed by removing his from mine, "Let's go shower my love." He places my phone on top of the bed and we both walk towards the shower. We quietly manoeuvre through our routine, both of us stuck in our own thoughts, I guess. Knowing that I have to reiterate and relive the trauma that I went through while I was with that man intensified the pit in my stomach which has now taken away all my appetite. After we're done with our routine, we both make our way to the kitchen but I inform Siya that I'll only be having some yogurt and an apple as I'm no longer hungry and surprisingly, he also opts for the same. We walk out of the kitchen after taking our breakfast items and go sit in the lounge. I start trembling even before I start narrating my story. Siya notices my tremors and takes the spoon from my hand and feeds me, "Yehlisa umoya sthandwa sam," he comforts me. (Calm down my love) I inhale, and exhale sharply then begin to narrate my story with the notorious Luthando Madolo.