Holding On

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Hayi inene, uSatana undifuna ndifile namhlanje. (No really, Satan wants me dead today) Did I not tell this one that I'll speak to him on Monday? What did he not understand in my statement? I was speaking in a language that he understands, right? Ngoku yintoni le nonsense ayenzayo? (Now what's this nonsense he is doing) Some may say I'm being harsh and selfish towards him considering he came to my rescue when I needed him and I'm not. Really. I appreciate his concern and all but even before this incident, I've always been clear about how highly I regard and protect my peace and my home is just that, my peace. I don't appreciate anyone dropping by unannounced so looking at him right now makes me want to slap the shit out of him. Out here looking like ikati engxuzwe emanzini abandayo. (A cat dipped in cold water) Bloody fool! Siya is standing behind me, with his arm now wrapped around my waist, dood still while taking shallow breaths. (Dead silent) This one sees Siya behind me and his eyes almost jump out of their sockets. I guess he wasn't expecting to see Siya here with me, andazi noba ebesithi uzobe ephi, but anyway. (I don't know where he thought he'd be) I look at him standing there not uttering a word and if he doesn't say something, he's going to get a moerse beating from this one behind me. (A hell of) He may be quiet for now, but I know seeing this idiot AGAIN on my doorstep is irking him to the core. "Thulani?" I inquire. He starts moving his eyes all around my door frame, while occasionally sweeping them behind me to catch a glimpse of Siya but continues to say nothing. "Sure mjita, singakunceda?" Siya asks, irritated. (Dude, can we help you) Yho hai uThulani nkos'yam. (Hey Thulani, my lord) "Uhm... eish," he mumbles. (Eh) Yebethuna! (My goodness) Siya tightens his grip on my waist a little too tight for comfort, causing me to flinch slightly. He sees my reaction and apologises to me followed by a kiss on the back of my head. "Ei, bendisithi mandizo checka uba uright uZamo," he says, avoiding eye contact with us at all costs. (I thought I should come check if Zamo is alright) Here he goes electing himself as my man. Yesu! (Jesus) "Thank you for coming to check up on me although there was no need, but as you can see, I'm okay," I say, almost wanting to shove him away from my doorstep. "Uhm... oh okay. I guess I should... I should get going then," he says, sounding doubtful. Duh! GO! I mentally scream. "Uhm yeah, I guess so. I'll see you on Monday, okay?" I respond to him as Siya has now gone mum. I just want this awkward conversation to come to an end already, not for his sake but for mine too. "Sho! Stay safe," he says, eyeing Siya before walking away from my door. (Sure) 'Stay safe'? Is he really going to say that to Siya? Clearly he has a death wish. The comment leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth but I choose not to dwell on it. I close my door and rest my back against my man's chest. I've never had such an eventful Saturday since I moved into this apartment.

We walk back to the kitchen taking simultaneous steps, with his arms still wrapped around my waist. "So, your boyfriend," he mocks. I scoff. Thulani is NOT my boyfriend. Not in a million years. Even before Siya, I never saw him like that. Indoda must be a man, you know? (A man) Not too clean or prune but needs to be a little rough around the edges, you know? He must have hands as big as your face, he must have a hairy chest, arms and legs. A man can't be a twig that wears a size 6 shoe! No man! "He's not my boyfriend," I whine. "Then what was he doing here so late?" he asks, letting go of my waist. Suddenly I feel lonely and cold without them around me and a slight pang goes through my heart. I turn around to face him, "Why'd you remove your arms?" I sulk. He stands a short distance away from me and chuckles, "You're not answering my question," he asks me, ignoring mine. "To check on me. That's what he said mos? You also heard him andithi?" (Right) He chuckles and shakes his head, "So, nicheckana eb'suku nina?" (You check on each other at night) Gosh Siya is unbelievable. His jealousy annoys me at times, and this is definitely one of those times. "Baby, I have no control over what he does njena." (Though) Yho this man my goodness. (Wow) "Nomzamo, lantwana seemed shocked to see me here, why's that?" (That boy) Hayi thethelela Mesiya. (No, defend me Messiah) How am I supposed to know why he was shocked. No, Siya's being unreasonable now. "I don't know, baby. I don't." He raises his brow in a questioning manner, shoving both his hands in his sweatpant pockets. "You know what? Let's drop this conversation or else sizo xabana. But let me say this, I don't ever want to see that boy anywhere near you or your apartment again, uyandiva?" (We'll argue... Do you understand me) Haibo! (Wow) Knowing I can't win this argument, I simply nod my head and leave him standing there. What's the point of engaging further in this conversation because he's not listening to what I'm saying. Siya can be very stubborn and controlling, and I don't like that one bit. I hate feeling caged. "Uyaphi ngoku?" he questions behind me. (Where are you going now) I ignore him and proceed to make my way to my bedroom. I need to take a shower before I prepare dinner. "Nomzamo I'm talking to you!" he yells. Hayi uyandiqhela lo. (No, this one is getting too familiar with me) "Did you not say that we're done with the conversation, now what more do you want me to say, huh?" I snap, turning to face him. "Nomzamo!... You know what... Never mind." I stare back at him, blank. Why are we fighting again? With tears already at the brim of my waterline I whisper to him, "Baby?" Yho andikhali, andikhali, andikhali! (The way I cry of late) He throws a quick glance my way and releases a deep sigh when he sees me emotional. He starts walking towards me and when he finally reaches where I'm standing, like a moth, I gravitate towards him and wrap my arms around his waist, breathing heavily. I'm ready to cry now. "Sthandwa sam, andifun'uxabana nawe, kodwa I don't want that boy anywhere near you," he says while rubbing my back soothingly. (My love, I don't want to argue with you, but) uThulani is no boy, he's in his mid-thirties but I guess Siya doesn't give a rat's ass about his age. His only mandate is that he doesn't want him anywhere near me. Also, this one seems to forget that we are colleagues, so how does he suggest I work around that? Let me ask him. "But we work together," I alert him. "Then he'll see you at school, nakhona from afar," he says sternly. (Even then) Wow. I look up at him, shocked by his statement. Surely, he's lost his damn mind. "How's that going to work, kodwa baby?" (Though) He humphs, "I don't know and I don't care. All I'm saying is I don't want you anywhere near him. Baby, can't you see lentwana iyakufuna?" (This boy wants you) Can somebody tell me where this man gets all these ideas from? Hayi nkos'yam. (My goodness) "Baby no! uThulani doesn't see me that way and neither do I. Also, uThulani une cheri," I try to defend. (He has a girlfriend) "Like that has ever stopped anyone from pursuing someone else," he deadpans. Haike, I have no words. (Well) I unwrap my arms from his waist and take a step back. "Let me shower love, I'll come back to prepare something for us," I say, walking away from him. "It's fine baby. I'll whip something for us while you shower. Take your time," he encourages me. Let me say this again, my man is very thoughtful and that's one of the qualities that I admire and love about him.