Love me forever #boyxboy

Chapter 19 - Time to think

Fillun went with the knights willingly, excited at taking part in training with the knights at the temple.  Bonnar made him promise to look after his own security even if the Knight Chevalier had promised to keep his identity secret.  They couldn't take chances. 

 Bonnar was a little lonely after Fillun left, but glad of having a chance to think.  He decided to return to the mountain lodge, and spend some time there.  He prepared for a trip and brought the two horsemen with him. They made the trip short, able to go at speed as they were all well experienced horsemen.

 Arriving at the mountain lodge, they all brought their horses to the stable and went to the dining room for dinner.  As before the horsemen got unusual treatment, as staff did not normally dine with him.  But Bonnar enjoyed their company and knew that he might need their help and trust in the future, and wanted to gain their confidence.

 "So I think he needs to train for some time with the knights.  His trip now is just for a few days but I want him to go and train with the knights for a year or two," explained Bonnar, looking at the horsemen.

"And he agrees with this?" asked one of them.

"I haven't discussed it with him yet, he's not long back from his time in the abbey.  He was very restricted there and tied to the monks' timetable, and had to follow a lot of rules which probably didn't suit him.  But he was safe.  In any case, I want him to get to like the temple and the knights first, before I talk with him about going there for more than a few days.  Otherwise he will resent it and see it as sending him off somewhere like I did when he joined the abbey."

"I see," said the other horseman.  "and the personal bit, your relationship, how's that going?"

 Bonnar smiled and answered simply "Perfectly, better than I would have ever thought.  I couldn't abuse his trust so he had to make the first move, and he did that." He grinned when he said that.  They understood what he meant, that they had had more than a kiss.  

"So it was special?"

"Yes, replied Bonnar, "it was very special.  We promised ourselves to each other.  Although I am afraid he may change as he gets older and has responsibilities, I think for now he knows what he wants."

"I think he'd be a fool to want anything else," commented the other horseman.

"Yes, but he has a family and a kingdom to think of, and I may not be part of that picture," answered Bonnar in a low voice, sounding sad.

"That's true, Bonnar, but you are the only one he has been able to trust all this time, you are the one helping him to move forward in life and move towards his goals.  Unless he's very foolish - and I don't think he is - he will recognise that and want you as part of his life, here or anywhere else."

Bonnar smiled, his mood lightening. 

 They talked into the evening and as the sun set, and its brilliant rays captured the view in front of the house, they stepped out and bathed in the dying light. 

 Over the next few days, Bonnar spent some time between joining the horsemen on time in the mountains, and on his own.  He had time to think and plan for the future, and imagine what the future might be like, which he had to plan without Fillun, unless Fillun kept his heart true and kept his promise.  Because of their age difference, he couldn't predict how Fillun would change with time and circumstance, but he knew that their love would be able to survive all of this, if they both stayed true to each other.

 The three returned to the castle to find Fillun already back and in the company of the Knight Chevalier, and wizard.  When they got a chance to speak alone, the four discussed plans for the future.

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