the light in his dark

Part 27

''What ?'' Kellie asks chuckling nervously

I'm waiting. I'm waiting for Marina to stop crying or calm down so that we can know what's going on.

I feel James' hand clenched against mine reassuring me discreetly

Knowing that he is there helps me a lot. I know he's there to help me stand up if I fall. To treat me if I am injured

Physically or mentally

He's there and that's the more important thing for now.

I can't look away from Marina and Stephen. I'm freezing while waiting to have explanations

Marina takes her husband's hand and looks at him through her tears.

Stephen takes a deep breath and looks at us with a little smile "I have..." he clears his throat "I have cancer. I was diagnosed 4 months ago and they said that there is little chance that I can live long enough to see the next season''

I hold my breath all along. I can't breathe anymore. I don't know how to breathe anymore

I squeeze James' hand harder and harder and I think I feel his other hand caressing my back

Kellie is shocked, like me. She tries to talk but can't find her words so Travis takes over "what kind of cancer?" He asks slowly

Stephen looks at Travis and looks back at his wife "a pancreatic cancer" he says with a sad smile

I feel my tears flowing along my cheek. Silent but destructive tears that wet my face

I get up and snap James' hand away. I walk along the corridor and open the bathroom door

I think I hear voices calling me but I can't. I can't do that again. I couldn't. I'm not strong enough for all of that

I close the bathroom door and turn on the shower before looking at myself in the mirror.

I see a girl who brings the disease to all the people she loves. Who scares away all the people she loves

My mother
My father
Stephen

I can't stand this vision anymore. I go into the shower and start cleaning myself under the water. Dress and without soap

I need to get this bad luck out of myself. I feel it sticking to my skin and attaching itself back to my skin despite the water flowing

I hear the door opening and steps behind me. "Wendy" I hear James' voice. She seems so far from me

He wraps his arms around me and traps me between his arms and his chest. He whispers things in my ear but I don't hear it

The only thing I hear repeatedly is his terrible words that I have already heard before

I have cancer

I try to breathe but my breathing is blocked by my sob. James tightens his arms around me showing me that I'm not alone

"I can't" i cry "not again" he turns me and presses my head against his chest. He caresses my wet hair

"I can't live this again. I lost my mother and I'm going to lose the only man I consider as a father'' I cry more

"I feel like I'm cursed. Everyone around me abandons me or dies while I need them'' James raises my head and plunges his gaze into mine

"Wendy, you're not cursed. It's not because they get sick that it's because of you," he said gently, passing his thumbs on my cheeks

"You will not be alone in going through this. I will be with you and I will always be. You don't need anyone because you are a strong woman. Don't forget it'' he whispers against my lips before kissing me