the light in his dark

Part 41

''You can go home'' the nurse says to me

She smiles at me ''I'm proud of you Wendy. You did really great and your efforts are paying''

Miss Elena is my nurse since 3 weeks now and I love her. She is sweet and soft when she checked me like a nurse do

She has always a smile on her face and she can't stop talking. When she needs to take my blood for tests I don't feel anything. Usually i feel at least a little but here I felt nothing with her

On the first week that she had to take care of me it was during the day so at 6am she cames into my room every days of the week and did the same at 7pm Before going home. And of course during the day too but it's the first time of the day that I saw her and the last

The second week was the Night Shift so she had to come check every 3 hours and it didn't annoyed me that much. Not like with the other one during my first weeks

''I can go home ?'' I ask

I heard what she said but since James woke up I didn't thought about me going home that early without him or just going home without him

We still didn't had our first night together at hi-our house and like before everything happened I don't want to sleep my first night at our home without him beside me

I already slept with him in his bed or even alone when he would come home late and I wanted to surprised him but it's not the same now

Now it's official. He asked me to live with him in his house so I want to do it together

I don't know if I'm being a brat for thinking that or selfish for wanting to stay at the hospital longer just to leave at the same time as James because I know that thousand of people would do anything to go home if their in an hospital so yeah maybe I'm selfish but I don't want to go home

She nods her head with a smile but I don't smile back. I look around the room and back at her ''no thanks'' I say with a little smile before putting my head back in my book

Ugh I love Colleen Hoover so much
She's my drug
And James too
But Colleen...

Elena frowns ''but Wendy you have to''

''Why ?''

''Because the doctor said that you could go home'' she says still confuse

''He said that I could, Not that I had to'' I lift my eyes really quick before putting it back on my favorite book

She sighs ''Wendy you can't stay here even if you wanted to''

I sigh and close my book but not before putting my bookmark in it ''but why''

I know I sound like a child but I really don't want to go home. I didn't go back there or in that street since that night and I don't want to do it alone. I want to have James's hand in mine when I'll have to face my memories

''Because a person, maybe tomorrow or in two days, will need it more than you right now. You used to need it but you worked so hard to go home and start to live again. Why change it now ?'' She asks tilting her head

I simply shurg and look at my left. I don't want to tell her because I feel like it sound stupid. I wouldn't want to tell James either because I'm a grown woman and I just feel it's stupid to be scared of something who is dead

Or someone

''Wendy go home and go live you life'' she says before walking outside of my temporary room

I sigh and grab my phone dialling her number. I need advice and what I can do and I can think at only one person right now

It ring for a few second and she answers the phone ''hi sweetie''