the light in his dark

Part 65

''Are you ready ?'' James asks me

During the night James and I stayed laying on the bed which caused me to fall asleep not long after the silence started

I woke up early in the morning for my training and James was asleep beside me. He wasn't far away from me but he wasn't close enough for me to feel his breath against my skin like every other mornings

I turned toward him and I stared at him for who know how long. I felt my heartache just from the view of him. I was so scared I would never see him laying beside me again after what I saw

And even if I don't know if I trust him or not after what he told me during the night I still feel relieved to see him here with me

I was ready to tell him to get the fuck out of the house after our talk but I needed him beside me. I needed to feel his scent on the bed and I needed to see him wanting to stay with me

I knew my heart wouldn't make it if he showed me deep inside him that he wanted to go home, alone. Even if he asked me if I wanted him to stay I was scared he only did it to seems normal and to not hurt me even more

But as I saw his face relaxing and relieved when I asked him to stay I felt an electric shock that made my heart beat again

After I touched his skin, traced his tattoos and closed my eyes, scared it would be the last time I do all of that I decided to get up and start getting ready for my training

I'm not gonna lie, it wasn't my best training ever but I did my best. I was exhausted and I was extremely sad. I couldn't stop thinking about last night. Every times I pirouetted I would see him laughing and drinking with this woman

Every time I had to close my eyes to concentrated I would hear his voice telling me it wasn't what it looks like and I would hear the Fear in his voice making my legs tremble which caused me to fall at least a good hundred times or even more

I nod and watch him as he gives me his hand. His eyes pleading me to grab it. I force myself to intertwined my hand in his and follow him to his car after he gives me a smile of appreciation

He opens my door and his hand falls on my lower back as I sit on the seat making me shiver. I thank him and he closes the door after checking that not one of my toe is in the way

The drive is quiet and I try to swallow my anxiety as I try to understand where we are going. Maybe if I see a place I know during the way it would ease my stress

''How was your night ?'' I hear him ask

I want to laugh at the quiet in his voice. James is always so confident and make it clear that he doesn't give a shit about what people think about him. But here he is quiet, discreet, almost as if he's scared I would leave him if he speak to loudly or say something wrong

''It could be better'' i say clearing my throat ''but I slept okay I guess'' i say unsure playing with my fingers

He nods with guilt reading all over his face as he keeps his eyes on the road

Not knowing why, I take his hand who is resting on his thigh and put it on mine in the place he usually rests it while he drives

This movement seems to surprise him maybe as much as it did to me and he turns his head toward me. He looks at me for some seconds before looking back toward the road

He squeezes my thigh and lets his hold tight around it as if he was scared I would pull away after some times

''thank you'' he whispers with a breath of relieved

I rest my own hand on top of his and close my eyes for a brief moment, enjoying the warm of his palm against my leg and the soft touch and feelings he gives me