True Acceptance- A True Beauty Fanfic

Chapter 22: Surprise.

SUJIN POV

                "I've got a surprise for you." Seojun announces late Saturday evening. He'd only been in Sujin's apartment for an hour, anxiously awaiting for the perfect time to do this.

   Sujin's birthday had since passed and for once, she could breathe again. Legally she was an adult, her parents didn't matter. Even if they did find her, they couldn't legally force her back anytime soon. She could relax, and the tension in her shoulders faded away.

   "What is it?" She followed Seojun from the messy, dirty dishes covered kitchen into the living room. She had recently set up fairy lights against the back wall where her couch was, and the room looked heavenly, as if a soft instagram filter had been placed over it.

  Seojun took out a small USB, his face stoic. "Plug this into the Tv and turn it on."

   Taking the tiny thing, she does as Seojun says and changes the input settings so it will play whatever he's had installed on the USB.

    She settles down onto the couch as Seojun's face pops up on the screen. He's sitting in the practice room, one of their dance studios. She could tell by the array of in wall cabinets behind him and the large stereo system next to it. His face is sweaty, but his eye makeup only made him look even fiercer than he was. His hair in thick unruly waves.

    The video starts with Seojun explaining that he was doing this to get all his thoughts in order, because he knew once he got around Sujin he would forget what all he wanted or needed to say. His face is tense, but that tiny flicker in his eyes tells Sujin he's nervous. Even now, as he sat next to her while the video played, he was fiddling with his fingers in his lap.

  "I think it goes without saying that neither of us ever planned to be in this situation. We also didn't plan for each other to be in their positions. I always saw you as the stuck up know it all, that you'd step on all of us to get to your dream, and you'd become some high paid doctor somewhere, off saving lives and making your family proud. I'm sure you didn't expect much from me. I didn't either really. I knew what I wanted, but I lacked the courage to go forward with it."

  On screen Seojun licks his lips and sighs. "Even before I lost my sight, I had my doubts. Even though I never told anyone. It shocked me how serious you were in school, you knew what you wanted and you were going to reach for it, no matter what. It was admirable, and I hated you at the same time for having your blinders on and only focusing on two things. Your future, and Suho."

   "I did fall for Jugyeong. All I can say is she was shiny and pretty and funny and I needed that. I felt in complete control around her, I felt strong, admirable, I felt like I could be someone she looked up to or adored... But that's not love. I wanted to be idolized, and I'm still not sure why that's such a huge need in my life, but it is. I need to feel like I'm doing something to shock or amaze people. But... I didn't feel that way with you. I don't feel in control around you."

   Sujin took a deep breath in and let her eyes focus completely on the video, how Seojun shifted uncomfortably.

  "When I'm with you, I lose control. I can't think. I'm just frazzled. I hated it, because no one takes my control away. But the thing was- you weren't even trying. You were just being yourself and it made me weak. I fell, even before I admitted it. You have a mind of steel and nothing can ruin your plans, your hopes for the future. I never expected to go blind. I mean, no one does. I didn't plan for my entire life to be smashed like a bug on the sidewalk. I didn't plan for every single thing I thought I knew, to be challenged. This world is cruel, it makes you believe that if you aren't exactly fitting it's mold, that you're worthless, and weak and pathetic. I believed that for a long time."