True Acceptance- A True Beauty Fanfic

Chapter 10: Gig.

Author's note: A longer chapter with some fluff and brotherly love. Song: The beach by the neighborhood.

SEOJUN POV

  "All you have to do is sit on a stool and sing two songs, three tops! That doesn't require sight!" 

   Seojun's manager was once again berating him over the phone about how he can't give up his future career just because he can't see.

  "Valentine's day is tomorrow and I already told the band you'd sing for the valentine's party at Han River."

    "Maybe you shouldn't have done that then. It'll look bad when your budding star doesn't show up." Seojun spat, still laying in his bed.

It was three pm and he hadn't gotten out of bed except to pee. No eating, no going to class.

  Why?

Seojun had a dream last night. He, Suho and Seyeon went to Jeju island together. Seojun could see. The colors were more vibrant than ever, the ocean water clearer than crystal. Seyeon was smiling, Suho was happy.

Seojun was happy.

And then he woke up.

He woke up to a hazy gray shield. Sure, he has gotten some sight back since the accident, but it was like trying to look through wax paper, through a foggy window, in shades of varying degrees of gray.

He couldn't make out shapes, people or faces. Let alone words, or small details. He could see blobs if the sun hit them right, but nothing clear enough to tell what it was. If he opened his curtains on a bright day, he could tell there was a huge blob in the middle of his room, but he would have to touch it to know it was his bed.

He'd made the grave mistake of assuming the mental aspect, the pain, everything like that was over. He was doing okay in his classes, not the best and he did struggle, but things were alright. He made two friends, Sikhyun and Lira, and he thought things would be okay now.

Then why did he still feel angry and want to punch a mirror when he tries to rub his eyes? Why does he even keep blinking his eyes, as if something will change?

  He hated it. He had been strong for his mom and sister, and he was trying his best to stay cheerful around his new friends... But God, he hated this.

He wanted to see. He wants to see the flowers and the cheesy valentine's decorations. He wants to see Gowoon's face and the horrible cakey makeup she did. He wants to see himself, to assure that he actually does look okay and not go off of what his mom says.

  And he couldn't. There would be no way of getting that back. Sure, he could adapt, but he didn't want to adapt. It would never be the same.

   "Seojun!" His manager screams over the phone.

Seojun flinches from his thoughts and pulls the phone away from his ear. "Aisshhhh- what?"

  "I SAID... The venue is paying three thousand dollars for you to sing. That's a lot of money, especially considering the state of your finances."

   "Keep your nose out of my finances." Seojun sneers. If he got up there, sang, and... And it's not the same, it's not what it once was... He will lose that love forever.

He will lose the one thing that's held him together for so long.

   But his mom did need the help. They were behind on rent and she hadn't been sleeping well thanks to back pain from working all the time. Even Gowoon was picking up extra shifts and no kid should have to do that.

Could he face losing the only thing that gave him comfort; in return for helping his mom?

  He would have to. He refused to ever have to rely on someone else again. Sujin already taught him that lesson. No more relying on others.