True Acceptance- A True Beauty Fanfic

Chapter 32: Fixer.

SUJIN POV

"He can go home around six in the morning." A nurse tells Sujin as she brings in dinner for Seojun. Chicken broth and jello.

She spins on her heels and leaves, Seojun picks at his jello and curls his mouth into a deep scowl. "No way in hell am I ever eating that again."

"I'm sure being here isn't helping the stress." Sujin nodded, removing the bowls from his table and setting them on the nightstand. "I can order pizza and pick it up at the front of the hospital?"

"I'm not hungry anyways." He folded his arms.

The room was too white, too institutionalized. Seojun looked less like himself here. Sujin couldn't even fathom that this was the same man who had shared her bed with her only last weekend. His smile was faded, no traces of it existing were on his face.

"What have you eaten today?" She sits back down in the uncomfortable chair, still slightly nauseous from the memories coming back. The last time they were in this position, she had an abusive father to return home to. She wasn't safe.

"Bagel this morning." Seojun grunted, "I'm still not hungry."

"Do you want to talk about what happened at..." She didn't want to finish her question, she didn't want to see him hurt, see his eyes flicker as the memories came back to him. She didn't want him to feel like she did.

"Not really. I just wasn't expecting the subject matter to be-" He rolls onto his side and shut his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."

She extended her arm out to the bed again, her hand tracing the lines of his face. His skin was dried out from tears and messy makeup, but it was still him. Still Seojun. And he was hurt, Sujin would do anything to stay with him, to make it better.

"Is the sedation wearing off?"

"Little bit." He pulls her hand down to his lips, kissing her palm. "I'm sorry I pointed out your stress marks. I was trying to not ask, but... That shit is strong."

"It's fine, I was wondering if you had noticed them."

"I did a few months ago, thought it was too personal to ask about."

"I haven't done it since we started dating. It's hard but- I don't want to relapse."

It was true, Sujin had gone several months without reacting that way, but that didn't mean it wasn't hard. Everytime she got stressed she wanted nothing more than to rip at her skin, it was like she was bursting at the seams.

"What time is it?" Seojun pulled a pillow to his chest, looking smaller and smaller.

"Five fifty two." Sujin set her phone on his nightstand, "why?"

"Because I already want to sleep."

Sujin didn't want to leave though. She didn't want Seojun to be alone, and she didn't feel like going back home alone either.

"Do you mind if I stay?" She walks around the bed, crawling into it behind Seojun and taking on the role of big spoon. Usually Seojun would complain about this, but today he didn't. He scoots back closer to her, so the only thing between them are their thin t-shirts.

"Stay." He rasps back to her when her arms wrap around his waist and pull him closer.

He relaxes under her grip, muscles loosening up and become soft once more.

"I hate this place." Seojun whispered.

"I know. Me too."

The very next morning, Minjae and a few security guards came to pick Seojun up. His mom had been informed of what happened, and Seojun was soon packed up and gone.

Sujin roamed the hospital halls with tangled hair and atrocious breath. She didn't sleep much the night before thanks to nurses constantly coming in and checking on Seojun, but it didn't matter. He was okay now, it was all worth it.

She checked her phone and saw a few texts from Suho.

Suho: Can we meet for breakfast?

Suho: I have an update for you.

She took the bus straight back to her apartment and scrubbed until her skin burned. She's sure she ripped the first few layers of skin off, but at least it got rid of the hospital smell.

After changing, she texts Suho back, and the two meet at a pancake shop not far from her apartment.

Sujin took a spot in a back corner booth away from the morning rush. She watched out the windows at the parking lot, waiting to see Suho's car. He said he had calls to make, something to take care of. She chewed on the end of her finger nail until she saw him step inside.

Suho took slow steps, his cane in hand, knuckles still white from gripping it so hard.

"You had to choose the booth furthest from the door." He grunts and slides into the booth, opening a menu on the table.

"But I waited for you before ordering." She shuts the menu and smiles, "I'm nice like that."

Suho shifts around with a wince and runs a hand through his hair. "I called the director of 'hello counselor' and threw my dad's name around. They agreed not to air the footage. They're going to burn it. The audience all signed NDA's so no one is going to say anything. Seojun's reputation is safe."

"His reputation." She hated those words, she hated that that was more important than his actual mental health. That nothing mattered as long as the internet was happy.

"If the footage got out, it would cause a storm." Suho explained, "He doesn't need that on top of everything else."

Sujin found herself resting her head in her hands, elbows on the table. "I know. Thank you."

"He's my friend... Of course."

A waitress came by and Sujin ordered pancakes and strawberries while Suho got waffles and a black coffee. They stare at each other for a long time in silence.

Suho is the first to break. "You've changed a lot, I like it."

Sujin snorts, "I'm not as weak as I used to be."

"You were never weak." The cracked red leather of the seat groans as Suho leans back. "You just... Didn't let people in."

"I still don't. I have one friend outside of Seojun and it's only because we sit next to each other in class."

"How did that happen by the way?" Suho's face flickers into a smile. "You and Seojun?"

"I ditched tutoring to visit him in the hospital. It was a lot quieter there than at home and- I don't know. I liked being somewhere where I could be myself. Where I was expected to be myself."

Once she opened her mouth, the words couldn't stop spilling out.

"I moved, and I told him about my dad. He learned about it all and didn't.... I don't know- he didn't see me as weak. He didn't view me like a child, or an object. My dad showed up one night and was trying to force me to go home, you know what Seojun did? He got in between us. This was when he was still depressed and- and didn't trust himself. He didn't like going anywhere alone, but in that moment he shoved me behind him and protected me. And not once did he ever bring it up again. He didn't use it to make me indebted to him."

"You should've told me that your father was still causing trouble, you could've moved in with me or-"

"And what? Lived like a victim? I didn't want your help, Suho. I wanted to know I could protect myself, and I can... But I- I get tired sometimes. Seojun steps in when that happens, and then we never discuss it again."

Their meals arrive and Sujin cuts into a pancake, letting the cloud-like goodness warm her body up as she devours it.

"Seojun is a good man." Suho sipped his coffee, "He was just lost, for a long time."

"We all were."

"But we found our ways back to each other... Maybe now that we're adults- we can all be friends again? Look out for each other?"

Sujin's heart leapt for joy. "I'd love that."