Truthfully Yours

Chapter 16

 

Now we both were standing at the most secluded place of our school which was covered by dense trees. It was situated just behind the large school building.

" What do you have to say? And sorry.. I didn't drop it knowingly. Now.. forget this too like everything you forgot. I wouldn't care because I've had enough for my whole lifetime ", I said with tears. It was the pregnancy kit which was accidently dropped from my pocket. I took it away from my bag because anyone might see it. Tears started flowing and I wiped it. I was about to walk and again he held my hand. What now.. I shot him yhe hardest and coldest glare I could ever give.

" Please.. ", he said more like begging. I looked at him but didn't believed what he said is trying to say.

" I didn't forget any of your tears and cries. I just stayed away from you. Because of guilt and shame "

I was broken into tears being reminded of the shame I had faced at school. Wasn't Me the one who faced shame? He's even having nerves to tell me that he's facing shame?

" I should have came to apologize but with what face would I meet you. You are suffering because of me. The thing which I did was unforgivable and all my fault ", he said.

" And now.. you are carrying a child at a tender age because of me. Whatelse can happen to make me die of guilt?", he said with his hands joined.

But like I'd melt and forgive? Him?

I don't know what to do escape him but I glad that he know I can never forgive or forget what he had done to me. He must repent. He should...

"I wouldn't ask you to forgive me.. you have all rights to heat me or hurt me for what I've done to you.."

I just walked from there and sat on the large rock beside a tree. He walked behind.

I sat down in silence. He was knelt down beside me fidgeting his fingers. I was silent and glad that he didn't disturb my peace. But then he suddenly broke it.

"What do you think about this?", he asked me suddenly showing the kit. I realised that he's indicating the pregnancy. I was shocked.

Is he going to ask me to kill it ?

I felt myself shattering inside that what if this guy will just force me to kill it like he just forced himself on me? I'd definitely kill this bastard!!

But I felt he have some motive.

Like.. he suddenly showed up infront of me today. Apologised. But I felt scared. What if he's just doing it out of defeat that he'd get caught.. and wanted me to abort this child?

It's not like I'm going to trust him anyways.

Just for few minutes, I felt happy that he realised his mistake. But his question shook me. I think I'm completely wrong.

He just apologized for the mistake but didn't say he accept this child. He just showed sympathy of my condition. How fool I am ?

"I'd never ever kill it. Do whatever the fuck you can..", I yelled. He was shocked. He was about to say but the bell rang.

I ran to my classes but not with grief but with hope. Hope that everything be alright. I've faced a lot already. I'm not confident enough to face more too.

     That day went on with untold happiness in me. I don't know why but the feeling of the kid inside me is so overwhelming. Will my parents forgive me ? They will never. Ever!!

I was strolling at the garden at our school and suddenly I heard a 'meow' sound. I flinched. I thought of leaving from there but a wounded kitten fell at my sight. I involuntarily went towards it. Maybe something inside me made me do it because the kitten is also a little child of a cat. It's mother must be so worried right.

I sat down. Aww baby... don't worry.

" cute baby... ", I said lifting it. My fear of cats ran somewhere so far away from me. I caressed its hair. I pulled out my kerchief and tied it over its wounded leg to avoid infections. I caressed its wounded leg for a few minutes. I wish for you to get well soon. I placed it down on the earth.

It slowly walked away with his wounded legs as soon as I placed it down.

I stood up and watched it retreating. I left smilingly.

I saw the kitten going to its mother cat and it was pampering it's kid. I felt happy.  If ever he ask me to abort my child, I'd never do it. I will either live with it or die with it.

Then one day I was writing my notes alone in the class and he entered into it.  I was shocked but he was so calm and his eyes stopped my brain from working.

Why do I feel butterflies whenever those eyes target mine? I don't feel angry at him at all.. Rather.. somewhere in my heart still thinking he didn't do anything on his own. But no!!! Don't assume stupid thoughts Madhvi. You're already a fool so shut the hell up.

" Why are you sitting alone ?", he asked me.

I didn't answer him nor do I look up. I behaved like he didn't exist there. That's how he was from the last two months. Suddenly showing up and tryna do magic to escape?

       I continued to write to just avoid him. I know he can see that I'm openly avoiding him but he's not moving from there.

Then I felt him nearing me. My heart started to beat faster. Not due to nervousness but the heck fear!! I'm scared that he'd harm me. He held my wrist and stopped me from writing. My palm was covered with sweat.

" Can you.. can you please have this ?"

He placed a medicine over my palm. I looked at it and then at him. I didn't take it but was looking at it with my eyebrows narrowed. I don't know from where did I gain temper, I just stood up and pushed him. He fell down with a thud.

" How dare you? You think you can control me just like that? I thought we had a normal conversation but I didn't know its all for a reason.. that's for you to escape from whatever you did. ", I said and he stood up.

" Firstly you had drug. I saw it but didn't day to anyone because it would tear your so called reputation. Then you used it and abused me. I didn't say it because my brother would kill you and go to child. After all I don't want my nephew to see his father going to jail by killing a bastard like you. Now that I'm pregnant with your child.. you are handing me medicine to kill it? I would rather live with it or die with it. If you think we would cause any problem to you, sorry I won't let that.  move away. I hate to see your face. I hate to see your filthy face!! I hate your fucking existence!! If you could help me.. then go away or die!! ", I said and ran away from the class crying. I got collided with a something.. a boy.. a little boy. He fell down stumbling.

I wiped my tears and made him stand. I was busy hiding my tears. 

" You pushed me again sister.. ", he said. It was little Vansh.

" Sorry.. ", I said. Deep down I was dying with grief but this little kid made me act normal.

" Its okay. You saw mummy ?", he asked and I nodded no.

" Ah. There he is.. ", he said running towards the person who just hurted me.  I saw the boy hugging him and kissing his cheeks.

If he ever know that his so called mummy is an abuser..

Suddenly tears formed in my eyes as he looked at me. I ran into the washroom and cried till the last drop of tear dried.

I hate him. I hate him totally. What I saw this morning was wrenching my heart.

I trusted him until I saw him with the drug again. I realised I was fooled. My heart was broken into pieces. I saw him with it again in the library. But he didn't notice me watching him.

I thought he would change after spoiling my life. But he proved that he won't. Now that I unleashed my anger on him. I felt like I hurted him but why should I care when he dared to break me apart ?

Now I decided something that he should no more be around me. He dared to kill my child. I cannot believe it at all but still..