Silhouette | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

1 | Familiar Outline

Shouto Todoroki

There it was again; the curvature of deception. A waterfall of black wires protruded from Todoroki's white sheets as he cautiously approached his bed. He was acutely aware of the illusory fiend lurking in his vision and lingering perpetually in his memories. Yet, although he'd deny it numerous times, Todoroki still initially believed his dreams to be true each time they materialized.

Hovering over the black mass of hair spilling over the edge of the pillow on his bed, Todoroki peered over the figure resting there. Smooth, pale skin, and a small nose crept into his peripheral vision, and then, as Todoroki expelled a silent sigh, those features evanesced as he stepped back from his daughter Mai.

Merely four days ago, Todoroki's wife, Momo Todoroki, had been the one occupying the space beside him. Four days ago, Todoroki was watching a movie with his wife and daughter. Four days ago, Todoroki was the happiest man in the world.

But then, four days later and a few hours after Momo left for work, Todoroki received a call he never anticipated, and a call he never wanted to hear. Todoroki was informed that his wife was dead. At first, he didn't believe his wife could have possibly been dead, but he felt a surge of crackling steam engulf his guts and his mind after hearing the news.

While entering her workplace, Momo tripped and fell down a flight of stairs, breaking her neck. No one else had been present at the scene when she tripped.

An accident... Todoroki thought to himself while circling around to the opposite end of the bed. An accident... I still can't believe it. It couldn't have happened. It can't be right. It can't be true. Curling himself into bed, Todoroki rested his head on his pillow, but he did not close his eyes. What if I saw it wrong? Momo is the one beside me. After all, Mai...looks just like her. Mai... She still has a mother. She didn't lose her mother at the age of six.

Staring blankly at the wall for what Todoroki believed to be roughly ten minutes—which was, in actuality, roughly an hour—Todoroki turned over to face his daughter. You'll be right there in the morning. Rest well, Momo.

But once the morning filled Todoroki's eyes, he was forced to accept that, once again, his wife had not returned home. That day felt practically no different to him than the day prior, but before heading to bed, Todoroki felt a gentle tug at his shirt.

"Dad?" asked Mai, whose black, shoulder-length hair tipped behind her shoulders once she craned her neck to look up at her father. "Do you miss Mom?"

Mai's question was like a knife sawing against Todoroki's neck. He deliberated over his response for a few seconds, vacillating between whether to say yes or no. Yet, once he heard Mai call for him again, he instinctively nodded.

She'll come back, Todoroki assured himself. If she doesn't, I...

"How come you aren't sad?" Mai pressed, canting her head,

Todoroki averted his eyes to the floor while his thoughts kicked at his stomach and his words jumbled together in his throat. She isn't dead. Momo isn't dead. Your mother isn't dead. Why would I be sad about a lie like that? He felt his chest tighten. I don't know what to say.

"Dad? Dad?" Tugging on her father's shirt again, Mai crinkled her brows. "Why don't you love her?" Her voice had jumped in pitch ever so slightly.

Todoroki's eyes sprung open, but he was unable to open his mouth. That's not it. Mai, that's not—

Mai's eyes welled up with tears as she whined, "Why? Why, Dad? Why, Dad? Why?"

Todoroki's heartbeat began to reverberate through his eyes. I do love her, Mai. I do. I don't...know how to say it. I don't know how to comfort you. I don't know what to do. Momo always knew what to say. 'Knew?' No. She'll...come back. He felt his skull throb and pound to the beat of his heart while Mai's cheeks were flushed red with tears and splotches of red.

"Dad? Dad, why aren't you sad? Dad?!" Sobbing out long, breath-infused whines, Mai clutched at Todoroki's shirt. "Wh-Why are you ignoring me? Dad... Dad!" Mai paused, but her ragged breaths continued as she gazed up at her father. "Do you...n-not love me too?!"

Without hesitation, Todoroki dropped to his knees and scooped his daughter into his arms, pulling her into his chest. "Never think that..." he gasped before he could fathom the words that had exited his mouth. "I love you, Mai..." Closing his eyes, Todoroki held Mai fast while Mai's visceral sobs and plump tears seeped into his shirt.

Have I ever said that to you before? Todoroki realized while Mai's arms wrapped around his chest. You've always cried to Momo. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm feeling. Momo would have known. She would have been able to handle this. What am I doing? Gently patting Mai's trembling head, Todoroki exhaled slowly.

Todoroki wasn't sure how long Mai had wailed out her sorrows and pain for, but once he figured that she was asleep, Todoroki cautiously carried Mai to her room. Tucking Mai under the light pink covers of her bed, Todoroki kept his eyes on the familiar spread of black hair on the pillow. Then, flicking out the light, Mai's room was drenched in darkness permeated only by the faint white glow of the night light beside the door.

A few days ago, I'd walk into the bedroom, and Momo would... Todoroki clamped his teeth together and shuffled out of the room, leaving the door cracked. Momo... She's...not coming back. No. She will. My wife... My wife isn't...

"How come you aren't sad?"

With his nose pointed to the floor, Todoroki briskly strode into his bedroom and closed the door. Glancing at the bed, he saw a familiar outline that caused his heart to palpitate and his breaths to freeze in his lungs. With a click, the lights in the bedroom flared up with yellow, bathing the room in lemony delight. Yet, under the sweet lights, Todoroki collapsed to the floor as an abrupt, hefty wave of a warm liquid pulverized his eyes.

Scraping at the floor in the process of curling his hands into fists, Todoroki peeled his lips back, and unconsciously, he parted his lips; silent, suppressed hiccups of an emotion he could not describe poured from his throat. Todoroki felt his chest and his guts spasm as his tears cascaded down his cheeks and into the carpet. His temples were pulsating, and his breaths gradually spiraled into shaky, intermittent gasps.

Todoroki lowered his forehead to the carpet wet with his tears, and with a quaking grip that threatened to split through the floorboards, he dug his nails into the carpet. "Why?" he sobbed to himself in a hushed, fragile voice. "Why her? Why Momo? Wh..." The taut muscles in Todoroki's face began to burn, and tearing his nails through the damp carpet, Todoroki swallowed the apoplectic scream boiling in his soul.

Why?! he wanted to roar, halting the motion of his right hand once he realized he would have unknowingly struck the floor with his fist. Why Momo?! She did nothing wrong... Why her? Why her?! Why? Why?! An audible whimper transfixed Todoroki's gasps, and hearing that, he immediately pressed his lips together in the hot shame flooding through his core. Why? Why Momo? Why...