Silhouette | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

2 | Underwater

Shouto Todoroki

A familiar, leaden weight clung to Todoroki's eyes as he awoke from his repose. The dried stains of his tears from weeping clung to his cheeks. Everything was a heavy, hazy blur.

After a few seconds of scrunching his eyes closed and fluttering them open, a deluge of something salty and warm tickled Todoroki's ribs. With haste, he glanced over his shoulder to the other side of the bed, but the surge of adrenaline in Todoroki's veins swiftly dissipated; Momo was not beside Todoroki.

She's not coming back... cogitated Todoroki, who turned away from the spot on the bed his wife once smiled at him from. I'm never going to see her again. But I can't seem to accept that. She was alive and healthy a few days ago. One accident... He buried his face into his pillow and closed his eyes. What did she do to deserve to die? It never had to happen. She could've survived. Why did she have to die? I... I don't want to think about it. I don't want to remember her, but I don't want to forget her. I just...want to sleep, and forget.

Drifting in and out of sleep for the next few hours, all Todoroki could remember was tossing and turning in exhaustion. His sleeping endeavors proved to be nothing more than a waste of his time, however, once he felt an abrupt tap on his shoulder.

Cracking his sleep-dried eyes open, Todoroki saw the familiar black hair of Momo. Entranced by the hope of seeing his wife just once more, Todoroki rubbed his eyes and scrutinized the figure standing before him.

Mai... I don't know what time it is. Todoroki fumbled for his phone in the world that seemed to move slower than usual. Noon? Shit, I forgot to... Oh. It's Sunday. Damn. If it hadn't been, Momo wouldn't have forgotten to take Mai to school. Mai's probably hungry. Momo would have made her breakfast hours ago.

Although his body felt like a brick glued to the bed, Todoroki forced himself to sit upright. Sorry, Mai... he wanted to say, but his words were confined to his head. Would she want to hear anything from me after last night? Should I rephrase it? Should I sound more upbeat? Should I say it like Momo does? Would she hate me for any of those? I don't know... Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Todoroki teetered onto the floor, but he felt like he was attempting to walk underwater. I'm so disoriented. Dizzy. Unstable. 

Pressing his palm onto the bed for support, Todoroki hung his head, but glancing back up, he noticed that familiar fan of black tendrils tantalizing his mind. Once again, he sieved the figure that the black hair belonged to, but after seeing Mai's face, Todoroki felt his chest sink and begin to undulate with fizzing, burning, bashing pain. His ears were filled with a high-pitched ringing that gradually compressed around his skull, biting into it.

What do you want to eat? Todoroki thought to himself, formulating a sentence to say in advance. Would she tell me I should know? I can't remember what Momo makes her. How did Momo keep track of which specific breakfast she'd make Mai every day? I don't remember... I saw, and I made comments, but... How do I not remember? She makes pancakes on Monday. I think she makes omelettes on...Thursday? He ambled into the kitchen with Mai at his side.

"Thanks for breakfast."

"Of course. What do you think, Mai?"

"Yummy!"

"Her smile looks like yours, Momo."

I don't want to look at her. She's so much like Momo. It feels like her only similarity to me is heterochromia. One black eye, one turquoise eye. Todoroki couldn't help but steal another glimpse at his daughter again. I feel like I'll break if I look at her for too long. Is that what Mom felt with me, but different?