Silhouette | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

19 | Connecting Memory

Shouto Todoroki

Todoroki couldn't remember how long he'd oscillated between sleep and being half-conscious, but he awoke to a pale fan of light seeping through the windows on the wall opposite the door to his bedroom. The bed sheets were still dark, making the surface of the bed an opaque body of water. Thin beams of gold cut over the walls from the gaps in the white blinds strung over the windows.

Did I spend my entire day in bed yesterday? Todoroki wondered while shifting his position ever so slightly. Bakugou held me close almost the entire time, didn't he? He only left...to make food for us and get water. His entire day...wasted because of me. I couldn't even eat the cold soba he made for me. I'm just a fucking waste...

"Don't say that about yourself, Shouto," Todoroki heard a familiar voice whisper to him. "I'm here for you." Like red maple leaves, Momo's words were vibrant yet fragile and smooth.

I wish you were, Todoroki thought as a hand curled into his hand. I want you back. I want you by my side. I want to do things with you and Mai. Everything I did felt like it was meaningful and for a reason. Waking up was never a chore.

"Just wait a little longer for me, okay?" The sweet, rich poison of reassurance dripped from Momo's voice. "I'm still here. I love you, Shouto. I love you and Mai too much to leave you both like that."

Finally peering over his shoulder, Todoroki was nonplussed. Rather than tufts of hair colored in the break of dawn greeting his eyes, Todoroki saw long, silky spools of black hair. His heart palpitated, but unconsciously, his eyes darted to the eyes of the figure lying beside him. Two familiar eyes of black locked gazes with him.

It can't...be you... Todoroki attempted to reason with himself as he instinctively reached his hand out to his wife, who grasped his hand, meeting flesh with flesh. Momo...

Like the sun, Momo's smile simultaneously pierced and blinded Todoroki's eyes. "You look so unsure," she remarked while lowering her brows ever so slightly. "You can tell me anything, Shouto." The warm tips of her fingers met Todoroki's cheek.

Of course...she's been here, Todoroki began to deceive himself as he brought his wife into his shaking arms and held her fast. I always knew she'd come back. Momo... I don't...even know how to react. I don't know what to feel. I just... A warm liquid poured out from his tear ducts, dribbling down his cheeks as the world began to tear and warp.

Within moments, Todoroki felt his body being shaken back and forth. Prying open his eyes into the searing frigidity of reality, he saw the blurred face of a familiar ash-blond. Then, he felt something slithering down his cheeks, and he felt the wetness of where his face had previously been resting. His ears were ringing, suffocating both the voice of reality and the voice of the red-eyed figure.

It...was a dream, Todoroki realized while blinking; two fresh rivulets spilled down to his chin. I'm crying? My dream...made me cry? I'm crying...in front of Bakugou. No. Why? No... He tucked his chin towards the bed and rapidly blinked as the incessant, shrill ringing in his ears gradually drained away.

"Shu," Todoroki could finally make out, "what happened?" Bakugou gently wiped away Todoroki's tears with his thumbs.

All Todoroki could do was shake his head. I can't do this. I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed, I'm humiliated... Momo...

"You know, there's never been a day when I haven't felt happier just by seeing you."

I want you back more than anything, Todoroki thought to himself, feeling as a sturdy pair of arms embraced his trembling body. I thought I was starting to let go and accept that you're not coming back, but I'd do anything to see you one more time. Even if it's a dream... Even if you're not there. Even if it's all in my head... I just want you back...