Silhouette | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

28 | Broken

This story is not intended to promote or encourage actions such as self-harm or suicide.

Shouto Todoroki

Everything will be fine, Todoroki repeated to himself for what felt to him like the thousandth time that morning. Just get through it. She'll be waiting for me when it's all over. Don't think about anything. Just her. He unlocked the front door to his house with Bakugou at his side. Or is she busy? Don't think. Don't think. It's fine. Don't think. I'll just sleep. He slid his shoes off and approached the staircase, keeping his eyes closed until his feet hit the first step.

It'd be easier to kill myself than walk up the stairs. I know he's there. He's going to hit me again. I keep telling myself I'll kill myself tomorrow to have a reason to get through today, but if I'd just go through with it, there wouldn't be a single reason to die anymore.

Todoroki only felt a lake of emptiness engulf his body when he was struck on the cheek and slammed against the wall by his father after reaching his room. He couldn't remember the words he'd been vilified with, and nor could he remember feeling any pain. Yet, he could remember that it had been four days since he'd last eaten.

It doesn't hurt, and yet, I just want it all to end...

Todoroki's eyes saw four sets of stairs scratching the abyss looming beyond the carpeted mountain range. Everything is throbbing. 'Abusive.' Forget. Forget. It hurts. I couldn't breathe. Stop thinking about it. It doesn't matter. But all the stairs... I... I can't do this... Faltering to the floor, Todoroki vacantly stared at the wooden floor at his feet as his body began to shake. It hurts. My head, my eyes, my feet, my entire body... I feel like crying, but nothing will come out. I feel like screaming or strangling something, but nothing...

While eating a salad with grilled pieces of chicken in it for dinner, Todoroki suddenly heard his father snarl, "What time is it?" Endeavor ripped his phone out of his pocket. "Fuck. Shouto, you have your business class! Why did you not say anything?!"

I didn't want to go... Todoroki stared down at his half-eaten bowl of salad. You're the one who forgot, and you assured me that school is more important than those classes, so if my schedules conflict, it's fine. Does it really matter if I miss just one c—

"Do you realize how much I'm paying for these classes?! You just want the easy way out, so now I have to pay for your lost class! You are unbelievably selfish, Shouto. So, guess what? You will be paying for the rest of these classes, and I'll be taking all of your devices until you finish every last class." Endeavor's ponderous steps thumped toward Todoroki; he stood with crossed arms and twitching, turquoise eyes.

Thwack! Thwack! Thwap! Thud!

As Endeavor stormed off, Todoroki could hear Endeavor mutter, "Unbelievable... Disrespectful, full of shit... If that woman never gave birth..."

All Todoroki could do was lie in the throbbing, burning silence asphyxiating him on the floor. He wanted to scream, and yet, he remained silent. He wanted to break something, and yet, he remained still. He wanted to sob, and yet, he remained expressionless.

Why?

Why am I like this?

Todoroki felt a pair of arms cradle him from the side. "Shu..." a distant voice uttered to him.

It's hot. I can't breathe. So dizzy. Spinning. I'm so heavy. I can't move. I don't know what I'm feeling. It feels like I don't feel anything but this weight and heat and tightness in my body. I just want to die. I don't know anything. I don't... I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know... I can't do anything... I want to scream. I want it out... Get it out... I can't express a single thing.