Silhouette | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

36 | Proof

Katsuki Bakugou

"...but if you're not willing to change, accept, and move on, then..." Bakugou's stomach twisted into a knot as the words he wanted to say slithered to a halt in his throat.

I can't say it, Bakugou realized when the silence in his ears began to deafen the world. I know he needs to hear it, but after all we've been through, I can't do it. 'This relationship just isn't gonna work out.' Goddammit. I know I'll just end up being toxic about him refusing to change in the future. It's already happened before. But is it so wrong that I want to be the one to save him, to be the one who never gave up on him, to be the one he finally strips off the facade for?

The weight of a waterfall folding over itself filled Bakugou's lungs, but in a frigid voice, he remarked, "I'm going down in flames with you.

I'm the one who's selfish, Shu, Bakugou growled at himself while sealing Todoroki's lips with his. I want this to finally be the relationship that has a happy ending. I want that with you more than you could imagine. But I also thought similarly with other relationships, and I just kept crawling back to the hope that things would work out when it was killing us on the daily to be together. Yeah, I need to change too, Shu. God, it feels so good to touch you like this and pour out all my raw feelings without anything in the way of it. But I feel like you'll just lie to me and to yourself and say you'll change if nothing's at stake. You need a trigger, don't you? I can't say what I wanna say, but I can say the selfish truth.

"Hey," mumbled Bakugou as his wrists were pinned against his bed. "I don't feel like it tonight." His eyes traced the broad, dim chest hovering over him, but he dared not gaze into the silver eyes clamping down on his throat like a titanium vice.

"Come on," scoffed a hollow, gravelly voice. "It's been forever. What...are you getting it from someone else instead, Katsuki?"

Shut the fuck up. How do you find every fucking way to take anything I do or say and use it against me?

"Hah. Ironic coming from you, of all people. Fuck off."

"And is that any way to treat your boyfriend who's been traumatized again and again by other people?"

Oh, God, and now your whole 'poor me' sob story shitshow. You expect me to treat you like some precious little flower when you'll jump to accusing me of cheating or some shit because I didn't answer your fucking text within five minutes?! You don't ever care about how I feel! Even now! All you want is this, even though I already said no. Now watch. Just watch. I'll say no again, and you'll get all pissy and bitter. God, you still aren't done with your whole spiel?

"I can't imagine how much shit you're dealing with," muttered Bakugou through his teeth, "but my answer isn't changing. I. Don't. Want this." His eye twitched when he heard the click of a tongue from above him.

"Fuck you. I don't need you, you filthy slut."

Immediately, Bakugou tore his wrists out of his boyfriend's grasp, shoving the latter off the bed with a loud thud. "Then get the fuck out," he hissed in a baritone growl.

Despite his words, the next day, Bakugou sent his boyfriend a text message to apologize for that night.

Once Bakugou and Todoroki pulled back from the kiss, Todoroki faltered into Bakugou's arms. Bakugou held his lover fast, and he wanted to stay like that until the dawn singed the room, but he forced himself to break the chains fettering his words. So, after admitting the truth that fogged up his head with a nauseating white, Bakugou finally coughed up the words that he was cognizant Todoroki had absolutely no desire to hear: