I Wasn't Her

Part 25

"So, Alaire, this is our third session, how are you feeling?" Dr. Princeton smiled as Alaire sat down. "I'm doing alright. Thanks for asking." It's been two weeks since her first session. The second one wasn't that different from the first.

"Now, if you're up to it, can you tell me about your ex husband?" There it was. The dread she was waiting to talk about. "It's only if you feel like it. We can do this another day." She sighed softly. "Westly and I met in college. We met over a spilled shirt accident and we close since that day." Alaire smiled at the thought.

"We dated for a few years and then he propose to me. My father hated him from the moment he saw him holding my hand. I thought that was normal because he's always been overprotective about me but he never changed his thoughts on him."

"Maybe your father saw through his act?" She nodded, thinking back on it. "Maybe he did but I was so in love with this man that I couldn't see it."

"So what made your father change his mind?"

"....Me. He wanted me happy no matter what. I threatened to get married with or without him there. Can you believe that? The one man that has been there for me through thick and thin. The father who loved me more than I asked." The corner of her eyes pricked with tears.

"Looking back on it, the hurt in his eyes. God, I'm so stupid." Dr. Princeton handed her a tissue. "It's alright. You know he's forgiven you. Continue whenever you're ready."

"But I can't forgive myself! I married him so he could keep me a secret from everyone. All this time I was thinking that he was just a private person. He just wanted to sleep with whom he pleased and get away with it."

Alaire rolled her eyes. "For years! He would have probably been married to me and the other woman to this day if I didn't find out. I would have been in a loveless marriage, wondering what went wrong."

"I faulted myself because of the people I almost lost along the way but it's not my fault that he cheated. He wanted this!"

"So you know it's not your fault." Alaire paused, realizing what she had said. "It's not my fault." A smile spread on her face. "I just wished that I didn't hurt my family's feelings during the process."

Dr. Princeton nodded. "Can you tell me, why you felt like this man was the right one for you?" Alaire leaned back on the chair, thinking about the question. Why did she believe he was the right one?

"I guess, it would be...children."

"Children?"

"As you know, I lost my mother from a young age and missed out on life's biggest moments because of it. He doesn't have an immediate family of his own and we just clicked about that. He would always talk about having children with me so that we could raise them together and be happy."

"Why was that so important to you?"

"I wanted my children to have a mother so they can have home cooked meals, so I could show my daughter how to use sanitary pads. I wanted to be a mother so badly that I bonded with him strongly on the fact of us doing it together."

The memories of her losing her baby popped into her mind, causing tears to fall. "We almost had it too but, I lost it due to stress."

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss." Alaire nodded, looking at her feet. "...Would I be a terrible person if I said, I was somewhat glad I didn't have my child?"

"What do you mean?"

"You must think I'm crazy but having a baby with the man I know now would have been a nightmare."

"What did he have to say about it?" Alaire chuckled, looking away. "You're really going to think I'm a terrible person after this one."

The doctor shook her head. "Of course not."

"I didn't tell him about the miscarriage, I didn't even know I was pregnant. I found out the night I caught him having sex with his assistant. Lost the baby right after. I was three months."

"Do you think keeping this from him is a good thing?"

"Telling him would be even worse and it's been months since it happened." Alaire closed her eyes. "If I could tell him, I would but seeing him right now, it isn't good for me."

"I understand." The timer chimed, meaning time was up. "That's all the time we have for today." The doctor stood to her feet, smiling at her. "Same time next week?" She nodded. "Sure thing." Alaire left, heading to her father's home.

She entered the house and it was pitch black. "Daddy! Why are all the lights of-"

"SURPRISE!" The lights turned on and there stood Emmanuel, Lucian, Veena and Christopher with big smiles on there faces. "Happy third session!" Veena cheered as she brought a cake up to her face.

"So glad you did it?" Alaire read the icing on the cake with her brows raised.

"Yeah, it was between this and 'Thank God!' Blow out the candles." Alaire reluctantly blew them out. "All this for my third day?"

"Not many people make it passed their first day." Chris snapped a picture of her, grinning. "Plus it encourages you to keep going."

"Your hands are getting better!" Veena smiled. "Good! Martin sent this for you." She handed her a small box which held a coffee mug with his face on it. "He said, it was just incase you missed him." Christopher rolled his eyes.

"That man has some issues." Emmanuel said, eating come of the cake. Lucian sat in the corner, smiling at her happiness as she opened her gifts. "Come on, lover boy, you're last." She looked up at him but all he did was shake his head.

"I didn't get her anything, I'm sorry. Everything was just so last minute. Please forgive me, Alaire." Her face didn't show it but she was slightly disappointed. "It's fine, thank you for coming though."

"You lying son of a bitch." Emmanuel grinned, sipping his drinks but Lucian didn't care. He wanted her to have the moment with her friends.

~

When the day finally came to an end, Alaire cleaned up the place. "I'm beat, I'm going to head to bed. Good night." She made her way up to her room but stopped in her tracks. A jewelry set and she knew exactly who gave it to her.

A note fell out.

I know that it may have been too much but I couldn't help it.

Happy third session, I hope you see better days.

Love,

Your fake fiancé.

A smile graced her face as she placed it away. "How cute."