Spider-Man one-shots

Wrong number

Peter

I'm sorry dude but can you help me?

???

I think you have the wrong number.

Peter

Dude I need help with stitching a stab wound this is no time for messing around.

???

GO TO THE HOSPITAL!

Peter 

You know I can't so, are you going to help me or do I have to search it up on YouTube.

???

Let me add someone who can help.

??? added ???? to the chat

????

Why am I in this?

???

This child has been stabbed and needs help.

Peter

Hi can you help?

????

* Instructions to stitch a stab wound. *

Why don't you just go the hospital.

Peter

Thanks, and I can't for reasons. 

???

So, who are you kid?

Peter

I ain't telling no stranger as your obviously not my dude.

??? 

Fine I'll just get that information on my own.

Peter 

Goodluck with that.

20 minutes later

???

Why can't I get in?

Peter

Because my firewalls are stronger than Tony Starks.

????

How is that possible. I though Tony Stark was the best and 'smartest' person on the planet.

???

I don't appreciate sarcasm.

????

Sarcasm. ME. Never...

Peter

Well, what can I call you guys as I respect your privacy and I'm not going to hack you guys.

????

You can call me Nat.

???

Can me whatever you want.

Peter has changed ???? to Nat

Peter

What do you like Mystery person.

???

I like science and Iron Man.

Nat

You should call him dumbo.

Peter 

Why?