MAKEOUTHILL

6%

December 2008

At school, we have a Secret Santa thing going on.

A few weeks back, we had to draw someone's name out of a jar. It could've been any fifth grader from any classroom.

I had a feeling I'd get Jahseh as I was drawing.

I got Jahseh.

As excited as I was, I didn't know what to get him. I don't know what he's interested in. He usually doesn't tell me about himself, he just asks about me.

The point of this is to be a secret, and I don't want to seem too obvious by asking him what he wants.

We're all giving each other our gifts tomorrow during the Christmas parties.

So, me and Daddy are looking currently at a store looking for something nice to get him.

"What about a toy car?" He suggests.

I shake my head, "he wouldn't play with it. I want him to get something he won't ever forget about."

"He likes to fight, doesn't he?" He reaches over and grabs a set of boxing gloves off a shelf, "What about these?"

"Those would be good, but I don't want to entertain his behavior."

Daddy laughs, "Entertain his behavior." He repeats. "You've gotta be the most mature ten-year-old ever."

"Momma says I have an old soul, but it's okay because Jah told me Cleopatra calls him the same thing."

Shopping for boys is hard. If it was a girl, I would've easily gotten her the Hannah Montana singing doll.

We stroll down the aisles until I see a pair of red earbuds. "We gotta get him these!" I say to him.

He examines them then checks the price, he hums in a reasonable tone before handing them back to me. "He has anything to wear them with?"

I think back, he doesn't have a phone yet, but he says his mom is gonna get him one for Christmas. "Maybe we could get him an iPod?" I suggest.

Daddy nods in approval as we head to the technology section, I decided to give him a black one to clash with the red earbuds.

We head to check out, and I thank Daddy for helping me out.

Once we arrive home, Momma's in the laundry room washing clothes. She sees the bag in my hand, "What's that, Charisma?"

"My gift to Jahseh, I told you this." I lift the back in the air and lightly shake it so she can see.

"Why are you getting that boy gifts? Can't you see his ass spoiled enough? I don't want you hanging around him."

I furrow my eyebrows, "why not? He hasn't done anything wrong." Besides, get into three fights this month, steal snacks from stores, and get suspended last month.

"Well for one, he's a bad influence."

"He can't influence me if I don't allow him to. I know what I want for myself." I argue.

She sighs, "Chaiyn—"

Daddy walks over there in an attempt to calm her down, but she keeps going.

I ignore her as I place the bag in my room next to my backpack.

"...It's already bad enough his mother's a stripper, but he also has no father figure. Do you know how many men I see coming in and out of that house?" She says.

"What does that have to do with him?" I say speaking up.

She shares a look with my father before coming over to me. "Listen, I don't want him—"

"It's not about what you don't want," I interrupt. "This isn't about you. My life shouldn't be based on your decisions for me. Let me experience on my own." I sigh, "I'm giving him his gift tomorrow whether you like it or not. And we're going to be friends on our own terms. I don't need you or Daddy's permission for that."

I walk to my room in silence, close the door lightly, and begin to carefully wrap up Jahseh's gift.

𓆩♡𓆪

Today felt as if it's been going by slow as ever. 

Our teachers still treated the first half of the day as a normal school day. Which was annoying because everyone was busy eyeing the cupcakes and sweets in the corner of the class.

We are now at an assembly where they explain to us how to give our gifts in an organized manner.

Standing up, I go straight to Jahseh with the small box I raised with green wrapping paper. He looks at me then the box and smiles. "What is it?" 

I laugh, "Open it."

He gently takes it from my hands, unwraps it, and pauses when he sees it.

Suddenly, I'm doubting my gift. "What's wrong? Do you already—"

"Did my mom tell you I wanted this?" He meets my eyes.

"Uh, no. I haven't spoken to her since—"

Cutting me off, he gives me a hug and thanks me. "I've wanted one of these hoes since forever," he emphasizes.

I laugh, "It's good, I was honestly doubting what you'd might like. But I hear you talk about music a lot, so."

He nods and places it in his pocket, "I'll set it up later. But I got you something too."

"I was your partner?"

"Nah, I got some kid in Mrs. Mitchell's class, but I don't even know who that lil nigga is." He reaches behind him and picks up a box that I didn't even notice was there.

It's messily wrapped in pink wrapping paper. I open it and gasp, "You got me an America Girl Doll?!"

"You've been talking about it nonstop, I decided why not?"

"This is like seventy-something dollars though, how did you?"

"My mom helped me pay for it a bit. Plus, money can easily be made back."

"Your spoiled butt," I laugh out.

I examine the doll and notice she has some of my features. She has my mole that rests on my left cheek, my hetero eyes, she even has my hair.

This time, it's my turn to give him a hug, "Thank you, Jahseh."

"Merry Christmas, Charisma." He says into the hug.

"Merry Christmas to you too," I say back.