MAKEOUTHILL

34%

August 2014

"What the fuck is this boy doing in my house?!" My mom yells at the top of her lungs.

Jahseh shakes me awake, once I realize what's going on, I jump up and put a mile of space between me and him.

"Momma, listen—"

"Listen?! Charisma, you were sleeping with him. I saw it with my own damn eyes. The fuck do you mean listen?!"

I mentally facepalm myself for stalling when it came to telling Momma Jahseh and I were dating.

"I come home, hoping to surprise my daughter with my presence. Come to find out she sleeping with a—" She snaps at me when she realizes I'm not paying her any attention.

"Charisma!" She finally notices what I'm wearing. A sports bra and underwear. Then, she looks at Jahseh who's wearing nothing but boxers.

I swear her pupils lit on fire. "You got five seconds to fix it." She turns around and faces the opposite direction. "One."

I scramble to pull on some pants and throw on a shirt while Jahseh finds him some clothes too.

"Five," she finishes. "Now explain what's going on in my damn house."

"Mom—"

"I don't wanna fucking hear it."

"You literally just said explain—"

"The two of you are entirely too damn young to be sleeping together. How old are you? Sixteen? And you're sharing a bed, naked, as if y'all paying bills and shit."

I have to take a few steps away from Jahseh. He's standing too close out of habit.

"I wanna know what was going through, your damn mind," Momma says pointing a finger at me.

I lower my eyes.

"Charisma, speak."

"Momma, you're overreacting I swear."

"Overreacting? Charisma you went behind my back and brung a boy in with you. And are those his clothes in your closet? Hell no."

"Jahseh has things going on at home. He sometimes sleeps over here because he likes the company. We don't do anything, I swear."

"The slut I saw when I came in the room is disagreeing with you right now. You looked fucking disgusting."

Momma says hurtful things when she's mad. I haven't seen this side of her since I came back to Broward.

I remember to not show any signs of hurt when she's like this because all she'll do is make me feel embarrassed about having feelings.

My voice lowers, "We haven't even had sex, there's no reason for you to be calling me a slut."

"You had no clothes on. If your father were to have seen you right now—"

"He would've pulled me aside to have a talk with me and Jahseh separately. He would never call me out in front of my boyfriend at seven in the damn morning."

Momma looks at me and shakes her head. "I can't believe you right now. You kept this a secret for how long?"

Before I can speak, Jahseh speaks for me. "Excuse me, Mrs. Solace, I say with as much respect as possible, but please don't be too hard on Charisma. All she was doing was making this seem like a second home for me. We have never done anything more than sleep. I promise you."

"Charisma, out of all people you chose him?" She says looking at me with layers of disgust. "The boy who could barely make it to your sixteenth birthday because he was locked in juvie. The kid whose mother was a stripper and could barely manage time with him? Are you for real?"

I look at Jahseh who goes quiet in shame. My expression softens. "I don't care about any of that. He hasn't done anything harmful to me or this household. And because of that he's going to continue to live here—"

"No, he's not."

"Says who?" My eyes widen at my response. Momma seems just as shocked as me after hearing that.

I didn't mean for that to slip out but I stand my ground.

"Says the owner of this house."

"The owner that hasn't lived here longer than a month?" A chuckle escapes my lips. "Yeah, okay."

"If you want to go with him feel free to. But I won't have a criminal in my house and that's final."

Jahseh goes over to grab a few of his belongings. I stand in front of him and block him from getting anything else. "Then I will," I reply.

"Charisma..." Jahseh whispers.

I can see a wave of hurt pass over Momma that's quickly covered by an attempt of being nonchalant. "Go right ahead. You and this vagabond can be homeless together."

"I will. And once Jahseh blows up and gets famous—"

"Jahseh ain't gonna be shit. He'll be nothing but a deadbeat criminal you'll regret throwing your life away for."

"—Don't ask for anything." I finish.

My mom scoffs before turning around and leaving my room. "I want both of you out of my house before I come back or I'm calling the police and reporting a break-in!" She yells before slamming the front door.

The tears in my eyes are about to fall.

I look at Jahseh. Clearly hurt by my mother's words, he keeps his eyes on the floor.

Once he finally notices me staring at him, he silently pulls me into a hug. I close my eyes and enjoy it while I can.

"Jah, baby, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault, I didn't tell her you were staying here. I should've said something sooner. And if I would've known she was coming—"

"She called me a vagabond," he says so lowly that if I wasn't as close to his mouth as I am, I probably wouldn't have heard it.

"Jahseh—" In an instant, pulls me back and kisses my forehead.

"You just threw away your life for me. All because you trust in me and my dream of becoming an artist. I'm gonna do this shit, alright? And I will be successful. I promise that. And when I do, you're gonna be the most spoiled brat alive, I swear it."