Shattered

Chapter 31: Alive

Violet's POV:

"Oh what a sin to kiss your lips, oh what a dive into an endless abyss. Oh, what a danger I shouldn't brave, oh what a fall into an addictive haze." – unknown

That kiss. That kiss. Holy fucking shit. I'd never felt so much in my life and it didn't even last that long. I barely pressed my lips to his and barely enjoyed the way they felt before I broke out of the kiss. Somehow, that fast, I was out of breath. Thankfully, he seemed to be too.

"I'm sorry," I blurted. I wasn't sure what came over me. He was just so fucking charming and I was drawn to him in a way I just couldn't explain. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that without asking you."

"Sorry?" He asked, raising his eyebrows before bringing his hand behind my head and pressing our foreheads together. "I'll let you make it up to me if you really want to."

"How?"

"Do it again," he said, threading his fingers through my hair, brushing his lips against mine.

Oh God... In any other situation, logic and survival would've told me not to do it, but that was all fading away and I couldn't help it. He'd been so sweet with me, all night he'd been sweet. He didn't make me feel weird and he didn't make me feel like being around me and my issues was work. He just... He let us exist in my darkness without making it feel like it was all that was there. He didn't make me feel like that darkness was the only thing that could define me, like I was more than that.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into another kiss. He groaned and set a hand on my back, moving in closer to me and pulling us to each other. How quickly I lost my breath was insane but I found myself breaking the kiss again to gain control. This time, he moved into the next kiss, stepping between my legs and running his hand down my back, only stopping when he reached my jeans. He flattened his hand against my back and pulled me more against him, his other hand behind my head, threading through my hair and cradling me into the kiss.

His lips had been distracting long before the kiss because they were so full. Feeling them moving against mine, I was surprised how soft they were, soft against my roughness. His tongue moved out along my lips, a gentle caress back and forth over the seam of my lips, asking for permission. Survival came back just to be a bitch and said no, don't do it, a fling with a person is one thing but you feel too much to go this far with him. Survival lost when his hand moved to the side of my neck, his fingers brushing against a sensitive spot there that had me sucking in a breath and parting my lips for him.

His tongue didn't invade, it came in tentatively, brushing against mine, along mine, taking its time exploring. I moaned against his mouth, my hand sliding down from his neck to his shoulder and then down his back. God, he was so strong. The muscles in his back tensed under my touch while his essence devoured me until I felt like I could barely see anything outside of our haze.

My hands explored a body I knew was hard and toned but it was completely different in this setting. I'd hugged him, we'd been close, but my fingers never got to travel over him like they were now. The closet was rushed, this wasn't. I ran a hand down his arm while he deepened our kiss and pulled me even more against him, until he was pressed right between my legs. My hand curled around his bicep, at least, as much as it could. Strong, he was so strong. It was something I knew in theory would work for other people and I wanted so badly for it to work for me but my brain wouldn't let me. Survival hadn't given up and doubt started flooding my mind while I begged it not to. He's strong, it's hot, let it go, I tried to tell myself. He's strong, if it came down to it, you couldn't fight him off, you know you couldn't.

I told my brain to fuck off and let me enjoy this, let me enjoy him, but it had other plans. How would he react to you asking him to stop? It taunted. How would he take it? Would he back off? Would he get mad or would he handle it well? Everything I knew about him so far would make me guess he would be fine, he wouldn't make me feel bad and he wouldn't have a problem stopping. That wasn't enough, apparently, because then my brain whispered, but how well do you really know him if you don't know how he reacts to being told no? It wouldn't stop and he must've picked up on it because he broke the kiss and put some space between us.