Shattered

Chapter 32: Oxygen

Violet's POV:

"I long for a life I have control of." – m.k.

I met Max when I was fourteen. The Lion, was what they called him. The king of the jungle, the one no one wanted to mess with. I first saw Max at a presentation I gave with another mathematician. He was sitting in the audience, watching my every move. I knew right away something was off about him.

After the presentation, we met. He was a friend of the mathematician I was working with, the poor fucker didn't realize how horrendous Max was. No one did. He was perfect at playing the part and with what other people considered looks to die for, he could get away with anything he wanted. If I tried to see Max objectively, I could see why people followed him around, desperate for his attention. He was stereotypically good looking, had a good head of hair, was tall and muscular, a strong jawline and charismatic personality.

That was the thing, though. Looks meant nothing. He was a vile trap you didn't want to be caught in but unfortunately for me, he had looks and brains. He was a smart motherfucker and he knew exactly how to handle someone like me.

It was only two days after that first meeting my dad dropped me off at a motel and Max was the one in the room. I knew the routine and I waited for the pain, for the drugs that would make it less painful. It had been almost a year of being sold off to different people and I'd stopped fighting. Outwardly, at least. Inwardly, I had my own plans but I knew the only way to execute them was to look like I'd given up, to look like they'd broken me down as much as they wanted to. I had a whole plan that was derailed by Max.

Max didn't touch me for months. He bought me from my dad every day he could. I never went to a different buyer after Max. My dad never usually let someone repeat that often but Max offered him so much money, he didn't care. He'd drop me off and I would sit in an old, dirty motel room and wait for pain that didn't come, because Max was smarter than that.

I didn't know his endgame at the time, but I learned too late what it was. He wanted my trust. He wanted me to want to be with him. He wanted me to associate him with pleasant things, like not getting hurt, like offering me food and candy and all kinds of good things I'd never had before.

I wasn't a complete idiot, I didn't trust him at first. But to a teenager who had been thoroughly traumatized, it was hard to not feel nice around Max. Max didn't push boundaries with me, not at first. The first time he bought me, he offered all kinds of treats and I took none of it. I stayed where I was at my spot in the room and didn't speak. He took a step closer to me and when I tensed, he took a step back and stayed on his side of the room. That went on for weeks. For weeks he tried to get me to talk to him but he never got close, he never touched me, he just asked me about things I liked. Did I have a favorite movie? He'd buy it for me. Did I have a favorite food? He'd get it for me. Was there somewhere I wanted to visit? He'd take me. For weeks he tried that, until one day I came in with a bruise on my face.

I felt vulnerable, and in a severely fucked up way, Max was the only safe space I had. For an hour almost every day, I'd get a break. I didn't have to perform, I didn't have to wait for someone to hurt me, I didn't have to hide from my dad or worry over my mom, I didn't have to get confused about my brother's loyalty, I could just be quietly, without a thousand eyes staring at me, in a place that always had food. Max's tactic worked, maybe not in the way he hoped but more than I should've given him. I just didn't know. I didn't know that he was somehow worse than anyone else I encountered.

I came to the hotel with a bruise and our touch barrier broke. He iced my eye, he hugged me while I cried and none of it felt inappropriate. His hands never went somewhere I didn't want, he just sat with me while I cried in the only place that was safe to cry. My dad didn't let me cry around him, but around Max I could cry and no one punished me.