Shattered

Chapter 46: Connected

Violet's POV:

"Let your fingers find their home between the spaces of mine. Let your hands feel the safety of my grip that will never let go."- Onur Taskiran

Kaden holding me against him didn't feel like a trap I couldn't get out of. Him carrying me to the bed didn't make me feel out of control. When his hands tightened on me, I didn't feel confined, I felt like if he held me tight enough I wouldn't fall apart, and that only made me crave him more.

I adjusted my legs until he let my feet slide to the ground. I had to stand on my toes to keep us in the kiss, but my hands drifted down towards his jeans. I felt like we were in each other's heads, like we both knew what we wanted. There was no slowing down, just living in the moment for once. I'd never been able to live in the moment but it was different with him. I felt safe with him. I felt like getting closer to him could only make things better and not worse.

He moved his hands down to my jeans, his fingers slowly popping open the button much more gracefully than the way I got his jeans undone and set my hands on his hips to push them off him. He kicked them off after kicking his shoes off and deepened our kiss before moving his lips down my jaw and neck, sinking to his knees as he peeled the wet jeans down my legs. He stared up at me and my heart forgot it was supposed to beat, it was also hypnotized by those eyes.

He got my shoes and socks off, my jeans off, and just stared up at me. He placed his lips against my legs, kissing up my thighs and then over to my underwear. He pressed his lips against me through my underwear. I slid my fingers in his hair and let my eyes shut as he kissed me through my underwear making a low moan escape.

He slowly lowered the underwear and kissed his way back up to me until our lips were together and the colors burst with light, glowing and taking away any darkness between us. It wrapped around us in beautiful patterns, like waves curling around us and drawing us closer. I'd never felt more desperate to have someone's skin against mine, to have someone's lips never leave. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me closer, his hand sliding up and under my shirt, onto my back. Every added amount of skin contact had me wanting more of him, more of the feeling I only ever experienced with him.

I slid my hands down from his neck, over his strong arms and down to the bottom of his shirt. I slid my hands under, letting my hands enjoy the feeling of his hard abs and chest as I moved them up, taking the shirt with me. He pulled back and tugged the shirt off then went for mine and I hated my panic for kicking in.

I had too many scars.

"I don't um," I said, stopping his hands before they got to my shirt. "I... I can't take the shirt off," I admitted, my cheeks warming as the embarrassment settled. I hesitantly looked up at him, part of me worried what he would say or think of me. "I need it to stay on."

He cupped my face and kissed me deeply, until some of the tension faded and my shoulders relaxed as I got lost in that kiss. He pulled back, leaving me breathless. He ran his thumb over my cheek and brushed his lips against mine. "You're soaked," he murmured against my lips. "Switch to something dry so you don't get cold. I won't look."

It was insane that him not questioning me and just respecting I needed it to stay on made me tear up, but it did. I nodded and turned away from him before the tears escaped. Get it together, Violet. I glanced back but he was turned away, facing the bed with his back to me while I grabbed the hoodie he lent me a while ago. I peeled off the wet clothes, including the bra, and zipped his hoodie up instead.

I'd never felt more nervous at the same time I felt so sure as I walked back over to him, setting my hand on the strong muscles of his back. He glanced back and the smile he gave me wasn't his normal grin, it hit deeper and I found myself turning him faster than he was turning because I wanted to kiss that smile. Our lips met and I melted against him, sliding my hands around his waist to bring him closer. He cupped the back of my head and slid his other hand down, fingers brushing against my outer thigh, sparking that flame just as intensely as it was before.