Shattered

Chapter 45: Colors

Violet's POV:

"I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break." – Marya Hornbacher

I didn't have a nightmare. I couldn't remember any point in my life where I spent a night without having a nightmare. Those few hours I slept with Kaden the other night didn't have nightmares but I assumed it was because I wasn't asleep long enough. I always had nightmares. I self-medicated to make them less intense but even that never completely took them away, it just gave me fewer. I didn't even have my usual Kaden dreams. The nightmare never came and I felt strangely at peace as I woke up. I never knew what peace felt like before.

Waking up was more confusing than usual. I often had a hard time telling what was real and what wasn't but this took the cake. I couldn't remember where I was or really any of last night. The last thing I remembered was taking some pill Marnie offered me, I wasn't even sure what it was. Then nothing. I must've done something heavy because I couldn't remember shit and was a little surprised I didn't feel worse physically. A little queasy, but that was it. Definitely better than I deserved after my shitty decisions.

Despite those decisions, I never slept better in my life. I woke up warm, wrapped up, the best smell in the world filling my senses. I had a hard time opening my eyes but they flew open when I adjusted and felt what I thought was just a weighted blanket tighten around me. It was not a blanket. I was with someone.

I wasn't sure what to expect but seeing Kaden's blue eyes staring down at me was definitely not it. I blinked a couple times, trying to make sure I was actually seeing accurate.

"Morning," he said, smiling softly. "Feel okay?"

I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come out. My eyes darted around the room and I realized we were in my apartment. In my apartment, on my bed, my hands holding onto his shirt, his body pressing mine against the wall...

Oh, God, I was going to panic. I didn't remember getting here or seeing him.

"Hey," he said, his brows furrowing. He brought a hand up to my face, stroking my cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I...How..." I couldn't get it out. I was too shocked. I shook my head and tried to focus. "What happened last night?" I asked, a little afraid to hear the answer.

"You were pretty out of it," he said, frowning slightly. "I brought you home because you could barely stay awake and then we went to sleep. That's it."

"How did you find me?"

"I called you."

"You called me?" I repeated, frowning. "When?"

"Last night," he said. "I... Something happened and I was gone all day. I called you the second I got your voicemail. I tried to call you after the first voicemail, shortly after you called me, but it wouldn't go through. I tried a bunch of times."

It wouldn't go through? My eyes widened as I realized why. He tried to call me shortly after I called him the first time and that was when communication went down at that warehouse. It didn't go through because it couldn't and I was so stupid to think he'd just been ignoring me that whole time. Come on, Violet, you're supposed to be a fucking genius, why are you so stupid when it comes to him?

"I'm sorry, I... I didn't have service and I didn't know I wasn't going to," I said, becoming once again, very aware of how close we were and the fact we were in my bed. Oh, God, his arms were still around me. I pushed against his chest and tried to sit up. Bad move. I groaned and set my hand on my stomach.