Shattered

Chapter 23: Connected

Violet's POV:

"Some eyes touch you more than hands ever could."- Shah Rukh

It was another sleep I spent dreaming of Kaden, except it seemed even more intense than usual. Not intense in that the way his body moved with mine was different, it was the way he looked in my eyes and I felt like he saw me. Not the makeup that made up the mask, not the hair I dyed and styled differently, not the eyes I concealed behind colored contacts, just me. It was by far the scariest dream I'd ever had with him but when I woke up, I didn't have the energy to be scared. Instead, my eyes opened to an empty bed, the sleeves of his hoodie reaching past my fingertips and making me feel covered and protected.

I stretched out then curled back into a ball, holding his hoodie against me and breathing it in. It was embarrassing to admit but the faint scent of him still lingered and it was calming. Letting my eyes shut, I ignored the embarrassment and just stayed wrapped up in that hoodie, anxious to confront the night ahead of me.

The night before, I couldn't sleep. My best chances of sleeping well were during the day when it felt like a lot less things came out to cause harm. Knowing I'd have to be awake and alert for over twenty-four hours, I'd slept during the day, more than I should've. My phone going off was a reminder of the responsibilities waiting for me and I grudgingly reached across to the edge of the bed where I left it charging.

Several missed calls and texts from Lola were ignored and beyond that were multiple texts from other people. Jackie and Chase were verifying my presence tonight, Courtney was asking about the party beforehand at her house, Farris was asking about the security already waiting in place, Marnie was asking something else and I just didn't care enough to answer any of them. I made myself sit up and swung my legs off the edge of the bed, my eyes having nowhere to go except to the fake space around me.

It was a bedroom, one that might've looked cozy if it wasn't so staged. I wasn't sure I remembered how to even exist in a real way, without hiding something or preparing for the worst. I hated staying in my staged apartments but looking at my security cameras earlier in the day told me Lola was still camping out at my apartment.

I got ready then headed downstairs and got into my car. A wrapper from one of Kaden's many snacks rested on the floor of the passenger side and I looked at it way too long. My phone went off again and I sighed, swiping away the notification of a new text and going back to the one Kaden sent me days before, one I hadn't answered.

Kaden: I had a great time with you. Thank you for giving me new birthday memories. Any chance I get to do the same for you?

My thumbs hovered over the screen for a moment, but I sighed and dropped my phone on the passenger seat, making myself focus on driving. The house the party was at came into view too quickly and I sat in my car a while, wondering if it was really necessary I partied with them now. They would most likely want to do it again after we succeeded in...

I sucked in a breath as the tears started stinging my eyes, images of my mother flashing in my mind. My eyes slid shut and I focused on breathing. No crying, not where people can see. Several deep breaths later, I opened my eyes again and forced the images out of my mind. Soon, those images would have closure. At least, as much as they'd get.

I got out of the car and trudged up towards the house, stuffing my hands in my jacket pockets as I did. The door was left open as people stumbled in and out, clouds of smoke surrounding almost every group in and around the house. I stepped inside, feeling the bass of the loud music vibrating the ground. A few people nodded at me in recognition and I nodded back, pushing my way through the crowds until I spotted Chase. I quickly changed direction, going down a different hallway, hoping he didn't see me. It was too early in the night to deal with his bullshit, especially if I was going to spend the next twenty-four hours with him.