Shattered

Chapter 44: In My Head

Ren's POV:

"All these voices in my head get loud, I wish that I could shut them out. I'm sorry that I let you down."- NF

There was something about cold that made my skin easily breakable. A dry cold left my skin chapped and uncomfortable so every shiver led to another scrape against the chains holding me up, opening more cuts. That was fine. Maybe if I got an infection, I could die that way.

A creak sounded and even through the hood, I could see more light coming in. I tensed when I felt the hood being pulled off, meeting the gaze of a person I hated more than I even hated myself.

"Hey Birdie."

Birdie. Other than the shithead in front of me, there was only one person that called me Birdie. My little sister, Violet.

Eight and a half years ago...

Cutting out circles was something my little sister was better at, but then again, there weren't a lot of things Violet wasn't better at. Still, I used the edge of my pencil to press against the paper to cut out the circles from the yellow, blue, red, and green construction paper. We weren't allowed to have scissors. Violet had an upcoming project that was keeping her busy but was almost done except for the posterboard for the presentation. The plan was to have all her patterns cut out before she got home, then I could help her glue it and then we would have time to work out our plan to get away.

I heard the front door open and the slam shut had me jumping, almost stabbing myself with the pencil I kept resharpening so it could cut through the paper better. I didn't hear anyone talking but eventually Violet came through the doorway, her backpack dragging on the ground behind her.

"Hey Lettie," I greeted.

"Hey Birdie," she answered without looking at me or really anything, just a blank stare.

"You're back late but," I said, holding up the circles I'd cut up so far. "I'm almost done cutting out your... Uh... Elements?"

"Atoms," she said, letting go of her backpack and sinking down on the mattress resting on the floor.

"Oh," I said, furrowing my brows. The last several months, she would come home looking empty. Blank expressions, her tones void of emotion. Every word was flat and she hadn't smiled in a long time. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm," she said, bringing her knees to her chest, her eyes traveling over the cutouts. "Thank you for helping."

"Of course," I said, setting the pencil down and crawling over, sitting next to her on the mattress. "Lettie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered, swallowing.

"Okay..." I said, leaning forward and clasping my fingers together. She was gone with only dad today, there was a good chance he'd done something hurtful. "Was dad mean?"

Lettie swallowed again but this time the blankness turned to hurt. Tears filled her eyes and she looked away.

"Violet," I said, moving off the mattress and in front of her on the floor. "What's wrong? Did dad hurt you again?"

The silent tears turned not so silent and she cried hard, throwing her arms around me. I hugged her, carefully running my hand over her back. He must've hit her but I didn't see any bruises so I wasn't sure where. "It's okay," I tried. It wasn't okay but I didn't know what to say.

"Nothing's okay," she sniffled, pulling back and staring at me like she wanted to tell me something.

"What is it?" I frowned.