Sailed (GxG)

41: Helpless

There is still one last part of Zen's Pov about the past. I can't bring myself to put it into one chapter because it will be way too long. Please bare with me T.T

Zenith's Pov

It's a gloomy day and I already know why.. I don't have the energy to go to the café, I feel like my body is so heavy and I can't cheer myself up.

I just stayed in my bed, staring at the ceiling with a blank mind. Whenever this day comes, I don't know what to feel. I feel empty..

My father already called me earlier, I also know the reason why.. He asked me if I am doing well and feeling fine. Of course, I lied.

I don't want him to know that I am really not fine and I know that he's well aware of that, despite my answer.

He tried inviting me into our house but I declined, too tired to talk to someone right now.

While staring and thinking deeply at my ceiling, I don't know what's gotten into me but Marthae's face just flashed inside my head out of nowhere.

Her laugh, her smile, how she teases me and how she make me smile..

My heart immediately starts beating so fast that I can feel my cheeks burning as I remember how I acted strangely a while ago, when I saw how Yrah and Marthae are both so close to each other..

I was really not in the mood earlier and it went worse when I saw Yrah kissed Marthae's cheeks. However, Marthae explained that it was nothing and that it was just pure platonic between them.

Unknown reason why I want for her to explain but I'm glad she did.

I received a phone call from the flower shop I ordered flowers this morning, that's why I bid my goodbye to Marthae for me to pick the flowers already.

She were suppose to tutor me today but things happen. I was fine earlier, after seeing Marthae but now that I remembered the event that happened in the same day today, my energy just got drained and vanished in an instant.

Now I am stuck in this four corners of my room, here in my condo.

I want to rest first, then I'll visit her. Before darkness can pull me, Marthae's face flashed  once again. I smiled and slowly closed my eyes.

I thought I'll not be affected when I visit her again but I just found myself shedding tears, stifling my sobs and continuously wiping my cheeks.

"M-Mom.." My voice even broke.

"I-I miss you so much, mom. It's your death anniversary today.. I'm sorry that I came here late, but I'm here now. I'll not let this day pass without visiting you. I'm also sorry for only visiting you today.."

I didn't notice how long I have been crying and wasn't even aware that out of my crying, sleepiness drowned me.

I stood up and cleaned myself before bidding my goodbyes to my mom. I can feel my eyes are now swelling, but I still need to visit the café. It's already quarter to 11 in the evening, Marthae must be home by now.

That's what I thought, because the moment I entered the café, I saw her just got out from the connector door of the bar and café.

My plan was to ignore her, to don't let myself get into something that wasn't part of my plan. Not to get swayed by her words but, it was too late.

She was there for me that night, she listened to me. Just like how I listened to her when she needed someone. And at that night, the moment she confessed and the exact time she let her lips brushed mine, that's when I knew I have totally fallen in this woman in front of me.