RUDE BOY

History

Jay Paris p.o.v

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm on the verge of giving up. I'd to lose her and become what I was. I fell in love and all the sex I had with the other girls and all the pleasure they gave me doesn't compare to what I felt for her. She was different and someone special. Someone I needed.

She hasn't answered my calls or replied to any of texts for the past 5 weeks. I know I fucked up but I wish she would give me the courtesy to apologize and bite the bullet.

I was scared that she moved on already and forgot about me completely due to her hurt and I was also scared that she was gonna go crazy and try everything in her power to get me arrested.

I decided to just call her once more. Just to see if she'll pick up. I miss her, and even when she ignores my calls I desperately hope that she didn't change her number just so I can her voice-mail.

The phone rang 5 times, I took the phone away from my ear giving up with my thumb heading towards the red END button. Then suddenly she answered, "WHAT?"

"I-I'm.....",I sighed, "Please just listen." She didn't say anything and I took the opportunity to get everything off my chest.

"Ok, I know you mad as shit and I know you want to beat my ass and do every un-lady like things you can think of in your head but I wasn't me that day I hurt you. I'm truly sorry, and I mean that. I know your thinking like, he ain't sorry he's just scared he'll get in trouble or he just wants me back for some pussy. It wasn't like that then and it ain't like that now. If you don't even want to see me talk to me or have me in mind again, I respect that but the least I can do as of now is just plead my case and apologize like a bitch. Because as of now it's my only option."

"Ok", she said.

"Ok what? Are you forgiving me now?"

"I honestly don't think I should because to me, a guy who beats up on his girl that he so called "loves" needs to move on and accept the fact that he fucked up and that he has a 0.5% chance of getting back his girl."

I scoffed, "You noticed how you said "his girl", right?"

"I fucking hate you", she said then she hung up.

I don't know what else I'm left to do. I can't get her to see that I am deeply sorry and there isn't much to say. I began to felt to feel my heart pumping and as if my lungs were tightening then my throat began to scratch up and my eyes began to watery. I started freaking out, I called Nakita again panting. Surprisingly, she answered.

"WHAT YOU BITCH?!", she answered.

"Please I'm sorry but I think there is something wrong with me. My heart is aching for some reason and my lungs are tightening and I think I'm gonna cry."

"Oh god."

"What do I do?"

"Nothing, your just heartbroken Jay."

"What?", I said immediately calmed down.

"Yeah your heartbroken and when your heartbroken you cry."

I paused and put my hand on my chest where my heart was. I've never felt this way before. "Oh", I finally said.

I hung up after the awkward pause.

I've never felt this way before.

It hurt even more just thinking how bad I hurt her and her feelings, I love that girl. I can't bear to see her with someone else worst than me. I wish I could rewind time. I wish I never fell in love, now I see what it does to you.

It fucking hurts you and make you a fool of yourself when you say sorry when you have absolutely no chance of making things right. Never again will I fall in love, not to feel this at the end. I'm going back to fucking hoes and being on my worst behavior.