RUDE BOY

All in, you got me

Jay Paris p.o.v

Glad that I finally got some kind of positive closure face to face with her. I have no idea how I'm gonna exactly win her back to be my girlfriend, but I have gotten her to talk to me. As of now it doesn't matter too much for us to be in a relationship, I'm just grateful that we have a relationship. It's been about a month since we broke up. I'm better now. She hasn't changed at all and I wouldn't ask her about what our next step would be, I'm pretty sure the time is on her hands to decide. As of now I've been giving myself time to think about what I'm going to do with myself and my own life, instead moping around wishing what I could've, would've, and should've done. The past is the past, nothing I can do about it. I am still in love with her, she kept her promise to never break my heart. 

Today, I've decided on my own to talk to my brother. We have to do something about this stupid family shit before something else comes up and makes anything worse. Apparently I'm the target and somehow the main reason why everything is fucked up. However, there are still questions running through both of our heads about our dad. Why? How? 

~

Walking up the pavement to Steven's house felt like walking through a lane of memories. I was a little nervous I haven't walked through this yard in years until Nakita and I finally came here. I remembered the door handle that I could never reach to knock on the door so I would always use the doorbell and press it with my middle finger since the rest were too short. But this time instead I knocked on the door and looked through the peep hole to see who would answer. Back then his mother would always answer through the front door when she wasn't home I would sneak through Steven's window on the second floor by climbing up the tree into his window. It used to be so fun, I almost broke my arm if it weren't for him ripping my shirt pulling me to safety. 

I finally took a deep breath and ringed the doorbell. I waited a while for someone to answer, and I began to get impatient. Just as I stepped down the brick steps someone finally answered the door. It was Steven. He looked surprised as he stepped outside closing the door gently.

"What the hell are you doing here?", he asked shakily.

I looked him up and down and said, "You suck at being me."

"Whatever, just tell inform me on why your here."

"Came to set shit straight I guess. I came alone, so this should only be between us. Fair and square, fuck that shit you be doing trying to get other girls to solve our problems."

"Our?"

"Nah, your problem actually. I haven't done shit to you."

"Your my brother, that's what you've done to me."

"How are you mad?", I laughed scornfully.

"How is that funny?"

"I can't believe your being so fake right now."

"Fake? How? I'm not the one who likes to improvise in front of my girlfriend because he doesn't want to admit the fact he's overly obsessed by being someone he's not."

"I'm sorry where are my manners? My name is Jaques Alexander Paris. Learn the name never get it wrong, I'm THE fucking legend born in the streets, built in the streets, and I'll die in the streets a real ass nigga. I've earned respect to receive respect without a fucking father. I don't gang bang, I make A's and B's and I work hard making my own fucking money. I don't disrespect my mother because even though the people I live with aren't related to me I still take care of them and help out because that's what they've done for me since my dad-- 'scuse me-- OUR dad had left us."

"No he left you. He came back for me and stayed in my life for a long period of time."

"No he didn't he went MIA after I met him. And for a smart ass you're more so of a dumbass. You're not his favorite and you're not fucking more special than I am. He did take care of us both at one time. And what you don't know is that when he met my mother he was afraid to tell her about you. He only took me around her lying to her telling her he had one son while you were still sucking on bottles in a crib at grandmas house. My speculation is when he abandoned me he finally gotten you out the house. Gladly he already put us in a home instead of putting us up for adoption waiting years for someone to take us into a foreign home and separate us from each other. But as of this day I'd rather be somewhere else than knowing your my brother. Brothers would stick together no matter what they wouldn't put themselves on a pedestal weighting themselves over the other. They'd stick out for each other even though you did have it better than I do you shouldn't put me down picking on me bragging about how our dad has been in your life longer than he was in mine. Then after that what I don't get is you still call me your brother. Why? Why do you think you have the audacity and the right to call yourself my brother and claim me? That's the exact reason why I changed my appearance and how I act and conduct myself onto others so they won't even think we look alike or have any type of relation. I have family that's not blood, and I got blood who ain't family."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"Only the real would know."

"You think your so tough because you have a couple of friends in the projects selling drugs and smoking weed thinking its cool? That's pitiful because you think you deserve some sort of apology from me when your not any better yourself. We're in the same damn boat."

"And it takes you years of being ignored, avoided, an cussed out on many occasions for you to finally see that?"

"Whatever, all I wanted out of this was to find my father."

"All I wanted was to know what it felt like to have a real brother who cares. Not some pussy ass snobby bully who ain't shit but a scarey ass bitch."

"Least I wasn't raised by apes, Tarzan."

"You would've been better off that way. Only reason why I came here was to see if you could provide answers and if we could clear the air and to give you what you finally wanted. To talk to me. Now I see since we can't even get along and you can't own up to the shit you've done to me, then I'll just take a load off and tell you that we're officially not brothers. Because what you don't realize is that my dad didn't completely fuck up my life, you did. Its a shame how to me you were the only thing of my dad that I have left, also abandons me and tortures me as if he were here to say he hated me. You were the one who made me feel like shit everyday at school running your damn mouth about me. You were the one who made me run away and come up with the mindset to forget all that has happened and to pick myself up and change me making me a stronger person. I never stopped getting paid every Friday, taking care of my REAL family, and being a good person. Raised in the streets or not, I may not have everything I want but I have everything I need. You nor my dad are no longer one of the things I need."

I turned away from him and began walking down the pavement towards my car.

"Wait!", Steven shouted, "Wait! This isn't over!"

I drove off. Not saying another word.