RUDE BOY

Dark Slumber

Jay Paris p.o.v

4 am.

She was fast asleep on my chest as I was watching some movie on tv. I was thinking hard about the other night. I couldn't get the image out of my head when I watched a knife being pulled out my my mama. I couldn't resist the heartache, I closed my eyes and a tear ran down my face. I wiped them quickly causing enough movement that made her groan.

"I'm sorry baby, go back to sleep", I said.

"Nah, I'm awake now", she said in a soft voice stretching across my lap. "So what are you watching?"

"I don't know, I'm not exactly watching it."

"Are you in deep thought?"

"Yeah."

"You always are. What's on your mind that's keeping you from getting your beauty in rest in this firm, soft, comfortable bed of mine?"

I hesistated, I couldn't tell her what happened to me without breaking down into tears. I could already feel like throat tightening. "A lot baby girl", I said with my scracthy throat.

"Oh my goodness you need to sleep. Your voice is getting scratchy and your eyes are red. Are you ok?"

More tears came down my face but I quickly turned away and wiped them off my face with the bottom of my shirt.

She placed her hand on my face and I turned back towards her. "Are you ok? You can tell me anything and I promise, I swear, I will never neglect you."

"I don't know how to start. My lifestyle is just so full with nightmares and darkness you can't dare to think that there's a way out."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Have you ever had the feeling that your trapped? Like in some prison, that no matter how much good you do, your always reminded of who you are and where you come from. So you feel as if you have to abide by how your life is. "

"What makes you feel that way? Is it just because of how you were raised?"

I took a deep breath knowing if I tell this girl every secret about my life then it's my biggest mistake.

"You know how Steven is my....brother right?"

"Yeah. He told me how you were devastated when you finally found out the truth."

"I was. He acted like it was a good thing? "

"How couldn't it be a good thing?"

"What do you mean? It wasn't a good thing we were brothers."

"But he told me that like..when you finally met your father you were angry and you ran away and when he told me this he said you haven't been the same since."

I remained quiet, waiting to see if she was gonna add in something else.

"Why are you--- why are you so quiet? Talk to me", she said, "Please."

"Only I know the whole truth. I distant myself and try to avoid Steven the best I can."

"What do you mean?"

"Steven isn't my step brother. My dad didn't sleep with both of our mamas and create us."

"If he isn't your step brother then..---"

"Think about it. He isn't my STEP brother."

She gave me a confused skeptical look.

"Gosh girl, he's my biological brother."

"H-How? W-w-what---what---how di--"

"Just listen, my dad--"

The door opened and it was her mama. "What are ya'll two still doing up?"

"I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep and I woke her up."

"Go to bed."

Her mama left and we just stared at each other then Nakita began to crack a smile. "Goodnight baby", I said kissing her on the cheek. She wrapped herself in the covers and I got out the bed and got into the couch recliner and just laid there on my back. I'd have to show this girl some kind of way without giving away a bitch side of me by crying and sobbing. I laid my head on my left arm and eventually shut my eyes. To me it seems like where ever I look or turn, I'm always surrounded by darkness.

Though,I've already made myself comfortable. One day I'll find the light.

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