Arranged Love

Talking To A Wall

Mika's POV

Week 3

The following day...

It's the next day and I'm laying in our bed all by myself. Bose hadn't spoken to me all of yesterday which felt dreadful but I deserve it...I think. I was being sincere about everything I said but I constantly get too emotional and take everything to heart. While Bose doesn't feel as passionately about things as I do and I don't think as rationally as him so, of course, we argue. Bose wants nothing to do with me and will only communicate with me through the kids. As long as neither of us is visually looking sad in front of the kiddos then they don't expect that our relationship is miserably failing.

I get out the bed and go to the bathroom to freshen up...that way I don't feel and smell like crap.

45 minutes later...

I enter the kitchen after getting ready and see Bose sitting down while eating some cereal.

"Good morning." I say loud enough for him to notice my presence.

No response...Bose's head stays down as he focused on his breakfast rather than me greeting him this morning.

"Great chatting with you." I say sarcastically.

I decided to pour myself a cup of juice when I notice Atticus come into the kitchen.

"Morning Ms.Mika and Mr.Bose!" Atticus greeted.

"Morning hun!" I greet.

"Morning bud."

My first time hearing Bose speak today and I likely won't hear much after that.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I ask.

"Minion cereal, please." Atticus said while sitting at the table.

"Coming right up."

2 hours later...

Bose decided to give Atticus his piano lesson right now since he didn't yesterday because of the breakup clouding our brains. Addi chose to join the boy's lesson so I had time to get a good training session in. Phoenix said she's been training more mafia members at the actual gym so virtual training will be a little scarce. So she said to train on our own whenever we could and I chose to do it now because I have time away from the ankle biters. I enter the gym now changed into gym clothes, put on some earbuds, and start with some stretches.

"Shit...I left my phone in the office." I whisper under my breath.

I didn't realize until I needed to listen to some music that my phone was sitting on my desk in the office. So I walk down the hall and enter the office seeing the kids and Bose playing the piano. Addi turns around noticing my entrance... it's like she has eyes in the back of her head.

"Mika I'm playing piano!" Addi announced.

That resulted in Atticus turning around to acknowledge my presence but one person didn't turn...he didn't even budge.

"Ms.Mika I'm getting so good at the piano...wanna hear?" Atticus asked.

I had blocked out Atti's comment since I was still stuck on the back of Bose's head wishing for him to turn around...and acknowledge me. His last words are still fresh in my brain...

"...then I-i guess it's over."

...I wonder if it was hard for him to say that because at this rate...I'll never know.

Bose's POV

"Sorry, kiddo but I-i just came to get my phone and go...I'll listen later ok?"

"Ok." Atticus said.

Once the door closed I could tell Macklin exited the room. It's not like her to say no to any of the children's offers no matter how busy she is. But I brush off the thought of her and resume my lesson with Atticus and Addi.

"Mr.Bose?"

"Yea Atti?"

"What's wrong with Ms.Mika?" He asks.

I turn toward Atti.

"Nothing...why do you ask?" I ask.

"She was crying yesterday when I woke up, she said she's having a super duper bad day so Addi and I gave her hugs."

She cried yesterday...she might have truly felt shitty about breaking up with me.

"Oh really?" I say.

"Yea...maybe she needs a hug from you! Mr.Bose gives great hugs, right Addi?" Atticus asks.

"Yup!" Addi says while sticking a thumb up.

No way...I still need time to myself before I can at least talk to her again.

"Kids I think she's fine." I say.

"I hope so...I don't like seeing people sad." Atticus says.

"Me too." Addi says.

It didn't matter if she was ok or not; as she said...I continually made choices for her benefit and not my own. So this time I will maintain my distance for my own sake not hers...no matter how much she was hurting.

"Let's continue the lesson Atti."

"Ok." Atticus says.

1 hour later...

I just put Addi down for a nap and decided to sit in the living room. Atticus and Macklin come into the living room from accomplishing his missing work from yesterday. Atticus plopped into the blanket fort Addi and he begged to keep up while Macklin put on power rangers for him. I decided to recline in my chair, close my eyes, and just take a breather. I felt her presence still near me so I made sure to not even give her the time of day.

"Hey...I know I'm potentially the last person you want to listen to right now."

She spoke under her breath, low enough for Atticus not to hear but loud enough for me.

"I know whatever apology I give won't feel sincere or any different from all the other times I messed up. But I still want to say I'm sorry. Sorry for how I hurt you, sorry for how I continue to mess things up, sorry for making you deal with me, sorry for breaking your trust, sorry for only ever thinking of myself, and just...sorry for everything."

Her voice was small and scratchy, she choked up from time to time, and her words felt sincere but bleak as she already knew it was too late.

"I hope that someday you can look at me, talk to me, or even just acknowledge me. I messed up and I deserve all the coldness I'm receiving from you. Bose, I'm hurting so much you d-don't even understand...it hurts even more since I know there is very little chance you even want to be friends with me again. You were right...we weren't ready but I was impatient and kissed you that night. I was being selfish and I ruined us...Bose, I'm just s-so sorry."

I felt her presence leave, her sniffles and small cries got quieter as she left the scene. I'm sorry as well Macklin...sorry that you aren't going to be obtaining my forgiveness as easily as the last time.