Sons. [Completed]

-Nine-

The medicine made me sleepy, but I didn't mind spending my days in bed. I didn't need stitches, thankfully, and they said it was going to heal up with minimal scarring. I was taking antibiotics so I wouldn't get an infection, and some pain medicine for the cuts.

They wouldn't tell me what they did to the guy who hurt me, but in the back of my mind I really didn't want to know. Every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, or saw the deep purple bruises on my arm, I got angry. But I didn't know at who. I wanted to blame someone for this, anyone, but I did it to myself. I knowingly participated in things at the club, and this was part of it. It was a freak occurrence that I got injured by an actual member, but being there was dangerous. And I needed to be more careful.

The house was uncomfortably silent. It was 5 am and I could hear Bobby's snores from across the house. My insomnia was overcoming the medicine, and I knew I was awake for now. I got up out of bed, and put on some running shorts, a baggy old shirt, a hoodie, and my running shoes, and went out the front door. I threw the hood up over my head, and took off running. I needed to do something to clear my mind, and this was the only thing that kept me sane on days that Evan couldn't be controlled. It was the only thing he really let me do when I wanted because it kept me in shape for him.

I ran past Jax's house, which was dark. I was about the only one up at this hour, and that's the way I wanted it. Picking up the pace, I ran past the convenience store that I reconnected with Jax in. I could feel my heartbeat increase the closer I got to the club. I hadn't been for 3 days since it happened.

Meaning I hadn't seen Juice in 3 days.

I wished he didn't live so far away so I could run to his house, and yell at him for avoiding me for a few days. He liked me, and I liked him, but I had made it perfectly clear where I stood on being with him right now, and maybe the trouble at the club made it even more clear.

Jax was being annoyingly sweet to me. He came over a few times a day to clean my wounds, and make sure I was doing okay. Every day he left he kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me. But I couldn't go down that road with Jax any easier than I could go down that road with Juice.

The thoughts in my head were racing faster than my feet, so I picked it up. My lungs were burning, and I wanted to stop, but I only pushed harder.

I only stopped when I couldn't catch my breath. I put my arms over my head, and accepted the pain from my wounds when the tears started to burn them. Nothing in my life was easy. My dad killed himself, my mom regrets my dad, my ex-boyfriend tried to kill me, and I couldn't even have a normal relationship. A sob escaped my throat, and I covered up my mouth. I didn't want to live with the pain, but I couldn't have a future if I didn't.

I had to let it go.

I walked the short distance over to the graveyard. His stone was just inside the gate. I went and sat in front of the small stone my mom made him.

Husband. Father. Friend.

At least she somewhat made it seem like she loved him.

I ran my finger over where it said father, and I smiled at the thought of him. Some say he took the cowards way out, but he was no coward. He was the bravest man I knew, and he would have done anything for me. I know he loved me, but he couldn't handle it anymore.