Like Minds - To my beloved Maraclea

Chapter 37 - I have to go

Nigel:

Apparently Nigel didn't care either. He just turned, facing away entirely from Alex and the bathroom he was heading to. He had this vague feeling again.. Why did feelings come up now? He didn't need any of that.. Maybe if tonight would have really been the first and last time he'd..- but that was ruined too. He should be glad he was not a Maraclea, but still, that feeling wouldn't budge.

He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. He had the feeling he could cry if he wanted to, which was a rare thing. But he didn't. Knights didn't do that. Nigel just didn't do that. So he kept his face emotionless as always.

His thoughts were disturbed by a soft and short peeping sound coming from the corner of the room. He turned to find Alex' alarm clock, which had just past twelve O'clock at night. His last full day was over, within 24 hours he'd be dead. ... Well not really, his soul would remain. But he would never be an individual in his own body again. He would always be part of Alex, unfree to make his own decisions. Of course he knew this from the start, and he accepted it a long time ago, knew it was required for eternity, but it still scared him lightly. Just like dying, he knew it wouldn't be painless. He wasn't going to tell Alex those concerns, though. There was no use to it. It had to happen anyway, and Alex' would be easier to deal with if at least Nigel seemed confident.

By the time Alex came back, Nigel had pulled his boxers back on. Just his boxers though, as he waited for Alex to return. But it seemed he'd already fallen asleep before he could see that, curled up on his side with his arms around his stomach, as if he was afraid to lose his body anytime soon.

Alex:

I had actually done nothing more than leaning against the wall when I had took a stand under the shower. I had this vague feeling running through my body. Through my heart, my stomach. I had blinked a few times while staring at the ceiling, wondering what was happening to me. I knew this was for the best - repeated in my head again. By this, I didn't had to be afraid to lose him. He could stay with me forever, right? That was what he told me. We should be united. Of course it wasn't the thing I really wanted, I guess. But it was good enough...

I had cried in silence, to be honest. Though it were just a couple of tears. I hadn't sobbed. I had done nothing more than staring emotionless in front of me. As I pursed my lips, I inhaled deeply through my nose to close my eyes afterwards. I just had to repeat the thoughts that everything was going to be more than fine. If we would be united, if we would have eternity, I could tell him the truth, right? Maybe I didn't even had to anymore, at that moment. Maybe I would be over him than.

When I had turned the shower off, I hadn't moved for a few minutes. I just kept leaning against the wall with closed eyes - thinking I was about to fall asleep any moment.

When I had dressed myself - or at least, pulled only a boxer on - I walked slowly back to my bedroom, noticing Nigel was "dressed" as well now. I leaned against the door frame and parted my lips, saying nothing for a little moment. The way Nigel laid on the bed was odd, like he didn't felt well or so.

'Nigel?' I mumbled softly as I walked towards him. 'Are you okay?' I didn't got any response what made me think he was dead or something for a few little seconds. I gasped when I startled and blinked as soon as I saw his body moving. I could see him breathing in his sleep. I sighed deeply and pulled a tough face. Why did I think those things so often lately? I was only thinking about losing him and such.

I slowly took place on the bed again, nuzzling my body close to his and wrapping my arms around his waist. My eyes closed themselves after I had pressed some kisses on the skin of his back. When I inhaled deeply, I softly stroked with my fingertips over the skin of his belly. This was going to be a long night, probably - because I didn't felt like sleeping at all.