Daughter of the Moose (sequel to 'Married to a Moose')

Chapter 68

I joined Dean in the other room. It was sort of awkward. We both felt like we had something to say, but had trouble finding the words. Dean spoke up.

"You ok?" He asked

"Yeah, why?"

"You look like you've been crying."

"I have. It's ok though. My dad and I talked it out and I was making too big of a deal of everything. I do want to tell you something though...can we step outside to talk? My dad wants to sleep, and I don't want to keep him up."

"Sure." As we left, my dad looked at us, and gave a nod to me, realizing I just wanted to talk and let him sleep.

We sat just outside the door. "What's up Alex?"

"You know a while ago when I was having that nightmare and I told you I would tell you about it later? Well it's later and based on how you looked at me confused in the car, I figured it's a good time to explain."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure. It involved you, and please don't get mad. I know it was just a dream."

"I won't get mad. Just take your time." I took a deep breath.

"It was right after you and my dad had the incident at the vamp case. I was standing there, watching you nearly kill my dad. I watched you lose control and do those horrible things to him. That night we took him home, I was sleeping in his room at the bunker to make sure he was ok. You and I had talked about how it was the mark and I understood all that. Then, I had the nightmare. I was watching that whole event happen again, except this time, it was different." I paused, figuring out how to explain it.

"Different how?" He asked calmly, trying not to push me.

"It was me being hurt, not my dad. I saw myself being beat up by you even though I was already dead. It was weird. I saw myself on the ground being beat up, and I felt every bit of pain even though the body you were punching was dead. I screamed at you to stop. You just kept going and going. I called for my dad, but nothing happened. My dad had shaken me in real life enough that I woke up, but I was shaken up for a few days. That's why now when we go on hunts, I've been looking at you. I'm trying to gauge your anger in a sense. I'm not intentionally trying to, but I do out of fear." I say as a stray tear falls from my eye. Jeez I need to get a grip on my emotions. I cry way too much.

"Alex, stop crying. Please. It hurts me to see you cry. I'm not mad, so if you're crying because of that, you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm crying because talking about it makes me feel the fear all over again."

"Oh. Well listen, I know I hurt you in so many ways that day. I am sorry for that. I'm not much of a sentimental person or much of an apologizer, but I'm sorry. I have never lost control that much except for one time when your mom was around, but I don't know that I want to tell you that story just yet. And actually, Sam probably already told you anyways. My point is that I caused you so much pain with that and I never meant to hurt you. I know you're worried about the mark and you want to make sure what you dreamed doesn't happen, but you don't need to be scared of me. I would never intentionally hurt you. I thought you knew that."

"It's ok Dean. Yeah, dad told me the story. Just so you know, I'm not mad about that. The way you told me just now made it seem like you wanted my assurance it was ok. It is. You never meant to hurt me and I know that, and I know you never do mean to hurt me. I'm not mad about the dream at all or what you did in it. I just wanted to tell you so that when I look at you on hunts you know why, and you aren't wondering why I try to keep some distance on hunts. It's nothing against you, I just want to stay safe and keep my dad safe."

"I get it Alex. Thanks for telling me about it. One thing though, can you please try to treat me like a normal person?"

"What do you mean? I do."

"When you keep your distance and look at me like you do, I feel even more like a monster than I already am."

"You are not a monster. I'm not trying to act that way. I'll stop. You should have told me sooner. I never meant to make you feel that way. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I get why you've been doing it. Just please try to act less scared and like I'm a monster. It just feels bad."

"I'll try. I promise. I really am sorry."

"Stop saying that. I said it was ok. Now let's get back inside and get some sleep before we head back home." I nodded. 'Home' the bunker was someplace where I could actually consider it that. I had a home and a family. It wasn't a normal family, but I was not a normal person. I was a girl with powers who lived with her dad and uncle and fought monsters. Nothing about me was normal, and I was ok with that. I went into my side of the hotel rooms and went to sleep.