Late night drives

XXXIX : Hate

My heart skips a beat. As a first reflex is to curl up on me by placing my hands in front. It remains in the door frame. Kim decides to enter, he is holding a napkin in his hand. he approaches me. I lower my head and reach out my hand. However, he still doesn't hand me anything. I hear a slight mocking laugh escape him. then he finally decides to give it to me. hardly I will close my hand, the napkin withdraws.

"Asshole."

"Are you shy?"

"No," I say the head is always lowered.

" Then look at me."

I slowly raise my head.

" Hands up!!" His voice sounds playful.

He has to be kidding me. I gulped as I raised my hands a little bit. Kim approaches me at a slow speed to the point of feeling his breath against my skin. Kim leans towards me, wrapping the towel around my waist. The touch of his fingers gives me chills. I hold my breath so I can't keep calm. He ties the towel. Then step aside for a moment after inflicting a light slap on my buttocks. Oh really? I gulped once again.

" Come eat."

Eat. No. Nonetheless, the rumbling of my stomach betrays me. Kim holds back a smirk and then turns on his heels. He closes the door proud of himself.

Ten minutes later.

I find myself in front of a large bowl of steaming noodles. The taste alone makes my mouth water. My eyes light up at such a feast. I am jubilant with excitement. we sit and eat in silence. The hot broth is enough to warm my body and the spices decongest my nostrils, slightly burning my throat. The bowls clash against the chopsticks. Suddenly I start coughing after swallowing a mouthful. Strangely Kim hastens to hand me a glass of water.

" Are you okay?"

"Yes. Yes. I am fine."

I say after a few seconds. The cough thus ceases gradually. I hasten to drink a few mouthfuls of water. Then the meal resumes calmly. We continue to eat in silence accompanied by the noises we make at the table. Until Silver decides to break the silence again.

" Did he tell you anything ?"

" Who?"

" The boy you were with last time. Ash."

" Yes. I went to his house before."

" You seem close indeed.."

Kim makes a sudden gesture that shakes the table.

" Do you know Ash?"

" No. It was the first time I met him at the race. Is he new? He's skilled."

" Barely." Kim finally takes part in the conversation.

" You don't think he can sin against you."

" He tried last time and failed miserably."

" Ash did significantly improve since then."
Silver nods in approval.

" Then let me think." Kim pretends to plunge into deep reflection by raising his eyes also to the sky.

" Nope. The answer is still no."

He gets up to pick up our bowls, I get up at the same time to make the same gesture. Awkward situation to be in. Although Kim insists on doing it alone. I sit down then without insisting any longer. I find myself facing Silver. It's been a long time since we haven't talked alone. The pressure between us grows heavy once the silence sets in once more especially after discovering that he also knew the story of my brother, the truth I do not know. why he would hide knowing my identity. I was shocked to know this news but strangely I didn't blame him. I'm sure there's an explanation for all of this. And I have to find out. I must.

" Silver, do you know something..bad about Kim?"

He looks back at me impassively and is slow to answer me.

" Please answer me as honestly as you can."

" Regarding the things that Kim has done I don't know any more than you... Being the most promising racer in the league the higher-ups keep him going through chains of blackmail. It is therefore imperative for him to win. Admittedly, he uses methods that are not very fair. But I can assure you that he only does it under duress."

"How do you want me to believe such a thing you mean that Kim is innocent? That he has nothing to do with what happened to my brother."

" I can assure you that the answer is no. He had moved heaven and earth to find the culprit and make him pay. Unfortunately, we still haven't found anything.."

" It's useless I'm sure he gave up."

Silver remains silent for a few seconds.

" Kim doesn't tell me anything anymore. However, I did not."

My heart races with a glimmer of hope just to be there. I know it's unlikely to find the murderer after so many years. Yet I can not help but continue to believe in it even a little. I am somehow convinced that seeing the one who destroyed my life pay will allow me to finally turn this page. maybe. I am still hesitant, to be honest. It won't change anything. This will not give me back my brother. He will not reappear in our lives. I am condemned to live without him by my side forever. I don't even know if I can continue hoping. To tell you the truth not knowing the culprit was in my favor. And to be able to blame someone else has been relieving. Especially when there is only one real culprit in the story. And it's me. I am the only one at fault. I am the one who didn't save him. I did rather run away like a coward."

My voice breaks. my breathing becomes jerky. Tears come to my eyes. I try to fight as best I can against the tears, which end up, much to my disdain, winning their second victory of the day. How much longer will all this torture last? I'm exhausted. I don't know how much longer I can bear it all.

" I know it might be difficult for you to the events from that night. However. Could you please me what you remember? Any specific détails?"

I wipe away the tears with the back of my hand. At the point where we are there is no longer any point in hiding it.

"It was at the abandoned shed on the street near the river. I followed Ricky without him knowing. I thought he would go to the tournament. There was no one there. I quickly suspected that something unusual was going on. I was far from imagining that it was a trap. I only realized that later. Suddenly several men masked in dark balaclavas appeared and surrounded him. They hit him for a long time but my brother was still conscious. Another broke away and when his identity was revealed the others ran away. I couldn't see his face. I just saw a tattoo that slightly exceeded his jersey and was located on the back of his neck. Recently I was disturbed by this image after I saw someone else's tattoo. The two looked so alike, nearly identical. I doubt it was a common tattoo. Since then I have flashbacks of that night more often than before
I can't get the image out of my head."

" Can you tell me who the person with the same tattoo is?"

I take a deep breath before telling him. I believe telling the truth will relieve weight from my heart. Despite knowing it would be for the better I can't help to hesitate. I don't want to be right. I don't know what I will do if I were.

" Ash."

As I say his name Silver doesn't seem that much surprise. I didn't expect this kind of reaction from him. Could he have already figured it out on his own?
Even if we're right I can not understand his motive for doing such things.

I thought I would have hated the one who did once I found out. Now that it's done. The only person I hate at this exact moment is myself and myself only.

______________________________________

Thank you for reading !!!

... well who could have seen it coming? Ash among all people.
Which explain a lot of things.

Can't wait to see how things will turn out.

See you next week.

Vicky❤️