Love and Beasts

Chapter 57

Time goes by and without paying attention to it around half of December has passed. The fall was replaced by way colder winter that surprised everyone. This year snowstorm caused lots of problems with public transportation, mostly effecting in traffic jams and some cars being slightly swept by the strong wind. "The last time a snowstorm like that took place was thirty years ago and not that strong as this year." Said Anna. "Luckily there were no victims of terrible weather nor car accidents, but we always have to be careful." Another woman retorted.

At the moment, Anna with a cup of hot coffee sat across her friend in her shop, who sold Christmas decorations at this time. Her friend, Emma, who was keeping her company was a short plump woman with big glasses on her nose and short gray hair. While Anna was taller than her and still in her best strength, the tiny woman on the other hand was slower, but at the same time calmer than Anna. The women worked here together: Anna was always the one mostly managing moving the new goods purchased by them, while her friend actually took the less physically tiring tasks. "Now that the Christmas is nearing, the customers are flocking in shop more and more." Anna chirped happily.

Emma smiled at her friend's mood. "I can tell that you've been pleasantly satisfied with our recent income." "Yeah. But I have to say that I'm no longer young like I used to be. The bones won't remain quiet from all the work here." "If you don't feel well then say it to me, I'll tell my grandson to come here and help you as a part-timer." "Nu-uh. I gotta move my old bones a little longer before I'll finally decide to retire for good. After these four or more years in hospital I need to compensate the slack by working a bit now." "Compensate the slack? Hon, you're older than me. I'm sure no one would be upset at you for something you couldn't prevent yourself."

Anna's expression changed into that of sorrow and deep thought. Her friend noticed that and regretted her words. "Nobody could predict these unfortunate events happening. And you suffered the most from them." "... No." Anna said while looking behind the window and observing the people passing by the shop outside. Emma looked at her and poured her some more coffee. "The one who suffered the most wasn't me. It was my Izunia who suffered the most." (Izunia is one of shorts for Izabela here.) And Anna's voice broke slightly, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"You see Emma, I'm not strong like you say I am. If I was strong enough, then I wouldn't dump all the responsibilities on my only granddaughter, who not only was kicked by life like me, but also had to learn the bitter side of the adulthood in age of eighteen? Or maybe seventeen?" "Anna." "Ah, pardon me! Sixteen! If only she ditched me, chose the life with Asia's parents and continued her life comfortably. Now rather than working she would be in college or university if she would be lucky. Maybe she would be able to become a doctor she always dreamed to be?" "Anna!" But the woman didn't listen to her friend and continued with self-accusations.

"I'm the worst grandmother she was stuck with Emma. I promised my boy and baby girl at their graves that I'll do whatever it takes to protect their little girl from harm's way. And yet she chose me over a better future. She chose entering into adulthood so early than live the same life as her peers. Refusing the longer youth that these people offered her." Anna seemed to be more and more down with each sentence which Emma knew wasn't a good sign. That's why she took her cane, came up to Anna and stood beside the woman, who finally stopped spouting hate words towards herself and leaned her head on the plump woman's frame. Emma patted her hair gently with a sad smile.

"Ania, I think you've forgotten a few things you also did to your granddaughter. Just because she didn't choose the 'better' life as you have described, doesn't mean she did the wrong choice because you failed her. If things happened differently then she probably would be in college or university as you said. But the girl had a choice and she did what she thought was right. Don't blame yourself for what happened in the past. If you keep thinking back about it, then you'll miss what is going on in the present. Your granddaughter is a smart kid who managed to somehow bring harmony back after what happened to Sasha." Anna still kept weeping and sobbing, but this time her mind has become clearer from bad thoughts.