I Want What I Can't Have

The Whip

I sat there anxiously awaiting Johanna's return. My hands wouldn't stop fidgeting and my legs would stop bouncing. I bit my lip that a metallic taste flooded into my mouth. Blood. I knew what they were doing to her would be bad. Actually it'd be much much worse than bad. Bad was putting it mildly.

"Stop worrying," Peeta murmured softly.

"It's more difficult than it looks," I murmured back.

We both froze as the bolt on the door was pull back, the sound echoing around the room. I held my breath in relief and dread. I was so scared to what they may have done to her. That's why it shocked me when Enobaria was brought in and tossed into the cell on the other side of Peeta.

"Lost the luxury?" I taunted.

"At least they don't have torture plans for me," she spat back.

"Hey, do you think your teeth, oh I'm sorry, fangs, could maybe bite through this bars," I smirked, "or are they only designed for ripping out throats?"

"Ha bloody ha," she said, staring me right in the eyes.

"So are you going to tell us why you were moved here?" I asked.

"I don't know," she replied, "I was informed and here I am."

"Wow," I laughed, "they got that tired of you?"

"Please, I'm surprised they haven't killed you already," Enobaria replied, "I would've by now. You piss me off so much."

"That's what I'm here for darling," I smiled back.

"Do you know how funny you are?" She asked, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"No, enlighten me," I smiled.

"Oh would you two just stop it," Peeta groaned, "this isn't helping anything."

"It's helping my ego," I replied.

He sighed loudly. That was my cue to shut up. Enobaria sat looking smug, though I couldn't work out why. She was now like the rest of us. I mean she may have been given a bit of food and water, better clothes and a comfier place to stay for one night but now she was just like us. The prisoners. The look of unneeded smugness was soon wiped from her sodding face when the bolt was once again unlocked. The echo seemed louder this time, creeping it's way into our souls. I watched the two peacekeepers as they unlocked Johanna's cell and through her body to the floor. Immediately, without thinking, I went over to see if she was okay.

Her eyes were closed but I could see her chest rising and falling. She was alive. Her suit from the arena was damp, like her eyelashes, had she been in water? Had they tried to drown her? I could see the minor cuts and bruises on her face but the most obvious thing was chunks of her beautiful hair colliding with the ground. What had happened? It broke my heart to see her like this and my rage took control over my body.

"What did you do to her?" I yelled, standing up, "WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"The feisty one really needs to understand respect," one peacekeeper said.

"You want to lecture me on respect?" I shouted back, "you are holding us captive against our own will and you want me to respect you! I don't think you know how this works."

The peacekeeper then got out a whip, "5 lashes for disrespect."

"Do need some help or are you familiar with whipping yourself by now?" I asked, cockily.

"10," he threatened.

"Hey I think that's self abuse," I said, "if you need a therapist, Snow isn't the person I can tell you that."

"20 LASHES!" He screamed, throwing me to the floor as he lifted the whip.

It came down hard and painful on my back. The sound that it made was loud. After 10 lashes I was on the floor tears coming from my eyes.

"Top off," he ordered.

"What?" I managed to say.

"You heard me. Top. Off," he said sternly.

"But I only have underwear underneath," I said.

"That's not my problem," he replied, "besides with your form of torture you'll have to get comfortable with being... vulnerable."

With my shaking hands, my finger fumbled around for the zip. To my sadness there was no avail and I couldn't find it. I tried again and again but my hands, as well as every inch of my body was just in to much pain.

"Oh for Snow's sake, you boy, help her out," the peacekeeper demanded.

I used every muscle in my body, writhing in agony, to shift over nearer to Peeta's cell. I forced my body to prop itself up against the cold iron bars. Through the gap Peeta slipped his nimble finger in and slowly undid the zip.

"Stay strong," he whispered in the quietest of whispers, "you're strong."

I wished he was right. 10 more hard lashes were places on my bare back until it was numb enough so I could feel the blood oozing from the wounds. The pain was unbearable and I lay there not being able to move. My eyes looked at the once white tiles that were now decorated in a shade of red. Painted in my blood. I need to keep my mouth shut. The two of them approached me and grabbed my wrists. I didn't even to struggled free, a third entered peacekeeper and grabbed my waist, hoisting me over his shoulder. One grabbed my wrists and held them still, the other my legs. I looked at a scared Peeta before the door was bolted once again and I was taken away.

***
The corridors all looked the same. A twisting and winding of white tiled passages with bright white lights shining through. There was no way to escape. It was like a maze. I didn't try and resist the peacekeepers anymore, what good would it do me now? My back was in horrible condition and it would only be a matter of time before it was infected. The pain was getting worse and every muscle, no, every nerve in my body felt like it was being set of fire and dying slowly. I felt myself growing fainter by the second. I, for the first time, felt properly scared. I was never really scared of Snow because he could only kill me and death never mattered to me. I was never scared of the games because I presumed I'd die. But for the first time, the thought of dying here, through whatever form of torture was prepared for me, really really scared me. I finally felt the peacekeepers come to a halt beside a locked door. They put my weak body down and I had to grip onto them for support. I felt myself grow dizzy and my eyes begin to close. I watched as the doors opened and then everything went black.

***
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