I Want What I Can't Have

Blowing Up The Nut

I stood behind Katniss as the hovercrafts took off. I could see the tears prickling up in her eyes. I slowly walked away and sat in a corner of rubble. My head hurt. Badly. Gale came over to her.

"What's the difference Katniss?" He asked, "crushing the enemy in the mine or blowing them out of the sky with one of Beetee's arrows. It's the same thing."

"We were under attack in District 8," Katniss spat.

"8?" I murmured, standing up, "you were in 8? What happened?"

Katniss looked at the ground, letting tears slip.

"They burned your home to the ground Flaire," Gale said, "and if you can't see the wrong in that you are as blind as Katniss."

"She isn't blind," I said, "she's civil."

"She doesn't know what they put 12 through," Gale replied.

"All the Districts have been destroyed," I roared, "we are all angry. We are all hurting, we all want Snow dead."

"Exactly so sacrifices have to happen!" He said.

"That hovercraft wasn't full of civilians!" Katniss argued.

"Doesn't matter," Gale snapped back, "murder is murder."

It took a moment to sink in. My home was gone. I could see it now in my head. The homes on fire. The school condensed to rubble. The people dead, all the people dead. Their bodies decorating the place like baubles on a Christmas Tree. The clothes burning making the fires spread further. All of our work gone. The place where I used to practice knife throwing is ash. My little box of knives not saved from the corruption.

"Even if those civilians are just mopping floors they're still helping the enemy," Gale said.

"Woah there," I replied, "maybe they don't have a choice."

"We all got a choice," he told me.

"I didn't," I said quietly, "you think I wanted to be here, you think Katniss did?"

"No but if a few civilians die so we can win this battle I can live with it!" He replied, "no one who supports the Capitol is innocent."

"People can be forced to do things," I said.

"Oh yeah?" He said, "and who do you know from the Capitol who was forced?"

"A prison guard who saved my life and in turn has his own taken," I yelled, "they made me watch him die! He had two children and a wife. And they made me kill them too!"

"He was still with Snow with the Capitol," he rolled his eyes, "he deserved to die."

"With that kind of thinking you can kill whoever you want," Katniss said, "you can send kids off to the Hunger Games to keep the Districts in line."

I heard more bombs and retreated back to my rubble corner. My home was no longer my home. I was on my own. No one was left.

"It's a war Katniss," I heard Gale tell her, "sometimes killing isn't personal, figured if anyone knew that it was you."

"I, of all people, know that it is always personal!" She spat back in rage.

More explosions went off. I covered my ears trying to comfort myself but how could I? No home to go back to... They were both right. This was a war. And killing was personal.

***
Boggs, Katniss, Haymitch, Gale and I left with the rest of the troops soon after. We'd make sure they'd have a chance to surrender. Many of them will only be mere people, who don't deserve to be killed.

"Don't worry Katniss," Boggs said, "there'll be survivors."

"Let's focus on what it is you gotta say," Haymitch said, "now, Plutarch wrote a speech for you-"

"I'm not saying that," Katniss replied, cutting him off.

"Okay, didn't think so," Haymitch smiled, tossing the paper behind him, "let's just remember you're talking to everybody, not just the rebels but the Capitol and survivors in 2. We want them to lay down their arms so you might want to experiment with a little sensitivity and warmth."

There were shout and cries from all over the place. I was immediately overwhelmed. I felt a hand on my back and looked back realising it was Haymitch.

"Stay calm," he murmured, "for me and for Finnick."

"PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN!"

"GET ON THE GROUND!"

I watched as the survivors helplessly got on their knees to the rebels. It felt so wrong. We were treating them like the Capitol did us. We were no better. Suddenly a man staggered towards us.

"STOP!" Katniss yelled, "STOP! HE NEEDS HELP!"

We both ran to the man on the floor to tend to them but he quickly seized Katniss with his gun at her throat. I had to act fast. Quickly, I attempted to wrestle him off of her but I felt arms yank me off of him. I squirmed around but the grip of this man was too strong.

"Drop it!" Boggs ordered, "you drop the gun. You drop the girl!"

"Give me one reason I shouldn't shoot you," the man said to Katniss.

"I can't," Katniss said.

What was she doing? Was she giving up? No. No. She couldn't. Not now.

"I guess that's the problem isn't it?" She said, "we blew up your mine. You burned my district to the ground. We each have every reason to want to kill each other. So if you want to kill me, do it. Make Snow happy. I'm tired of killing his slaves for him."

"I'm not his slave," the man said, not lowering his gun.

"I am," Katniss murmured, "that's why I killed Cato. And he killed Thresh. And Thresh killed Clove. It just around and around. And who wins? Always Snow. I am done being a piece in his games. District 12, district 2, we have no fight! Except the one the Capitol gave us. Why's re you fighting the rebels? Your neighbours? Your family?"

The man with the gun let Katniss go and she slowly stood up and began to talk again, "these people are not your enemy. We all have one enemy. And that's Snow. He corrupts everyone and everything, he turns the best of us against each other. Stop killing for him! Tonight. Turn your weapons to the Capitol. Turn your weapons to Snow."

A gunshot rung out and the mockingjay collapsed to the floor. I screamed loudly escaping the man's gasp and ran over to Katniss. The bird's wings had broken, she could fly no more.

***
Sorry for repeating the film
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